Centon Series: Bulletproof Skin
by Les Missedyercalls
Summary: Randy Orton is a high school student in one of L.A.'s more elite areas. He's a self-proclaimed horndog on a mission to check both guys and girls off his "hit" list, when he runs into forbidden fruit with a transfer from the gang district named John Cena. When John reveals he's HIV-positive & not interested in Randy's game, John quickly becomes the only object of Randy's desire.
1. Blissful

**Author's Note**: This is an alternate universe story featuring slash and male/female pairings; primarily Centon. It is a re-post of an original story posted in 2012 that has been given new content and chapters.

It is rated M for intense descriptions of violence, some graphic language, sexual situations and self-destructive behaviors in future chapters. It is intended to read like a Greek tragedy.

I don't claim to own any rights to WWE or its affiliates. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

1: Blissful

I didn't know that much about him. Rumor around school was that he came from a gang district in Southern Cali, that his friends were all slaughtered by a rival gang and he was shot at but the bullet missed him and he somehow stayed alive long enough to get transferred.

Rockview High School was located on a suburb of Los Angeles. I, Randy Orton, was born and raised in the area and lived privileged alongside my lifelong friends. Most of the kids that went to my school were rich white misfits who only got into trouble to upset their parents. We were wannabes, but we thought we were the shit. That is, until_ he_ transferred to our school.

He was a white kid, too, but he was a white kid who saw the_ black_ side of life and chose our world, instead. We took our world for granted, thinking that the life that he came from was much more interesting than anything we had. He was like a lost soul on our turf, wandering aimlessly like he was a fallen angel; lost his way. His ice blue eyes burned into my skull when I stared at him. He never looked at me, even when I thought he knew I was staring at him. He had probably heard all the rumors. He knew our school saw him as an outsider, but he never said a word in protest. Not a damn word.

I didn't like him at first. His name was John Cena and he belonged to a foster home in an apartment complex that was known for being raided regularly by the police. If he were involved in gangs where he used to live like the rumors said, he probably knew how to handle a gun and couldn't be trusted. He was assigned the locker next to mine. I used to glance over his shoulder whenever he opened it to make sure he hadn't stolen anything. Most kids lifted coffee packets from the teacher's lounge or the stapler from the front office, but he never took a thing. Not a damn thing.

The more I watched him, the less I understood about him. He hardly talked at all. He wasn't mute, because I heard him say a few choice words to Mike, whom we called "Miz." Mike was on the football team with me, and we had known each other most of our lives. When Cena came along, Mike heard a rumor that Cena had played some football where he used to live, but when Mike made the offer for Cena to play and Cena turned it down, things got heated. Mike only taunted Cena because he wanted to see what Cena could do. Instead of pounding him or trying to shoot at him or all other forms of high school retaliation, Cena just acted like Miz was nothing more to him than dried up shit.

I thought Cena was a punk, but I sat next to him in our English/Music combo class. Budget cuts made our school combine similar classes, and most of our homework in English was about musical research. I discovered early on that Cena was really good at music, and he aced almost all of his assignments. I couldn't tell why he was so well educated, yet he acted like some ghetto kid with no real goals in life.

Since he was a guy and guys have needs, I was curious about his sexual exploits. The rumor was that he had tried everything, but I wanted to see for myself what he was into. His locker and his backpack gave me no hints. No Playboys stashed away, no condoms "accidentally" falling out of his locker, and no chicks coming by to flirt with him. He didn't grab any asses, he didn't get asked out on any dates, and I didn't once catch him eying a babe. Either he was completely shut off and only catered to himself, or he were a closet gay.

I didn't have issues with gay guys. I was bisexual myself. I spent a lot of time with the ladies, but I got off best experimenting with same-sex games played at weekend parties. I never saw Cena at any of the parties, which made it even harder to know what he was into. I wondered if he were dating someone older or someone from another school, maybe in it long distance with someone from his former place, but he never made any mention of a significant other. In fact, he acted like it repulsed him to be touched by others. He wore a thick jacket in Los Angeles weather and the most I ever saw of his skin was his buff, shirtless upper body when he dressed out after gym class. Even then, he only took his shirt off and used the showers with stalls so no one saw him naked. He had some tricked out scar tissue on his back and stomach, and I wondered if maybe he were hiding worse scars behind his jeans, like abuse or some S&M shit.

He didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Maybe that's why I was so curious about him. I wanted to talk to him, but I was a football player and he was a thug, not to mention the fact that he didn't seem to have the slightest interest in talking to me.

"Mr. Orton?" a voice took me out of my thoughts.

I looked up and saw Mr. Foley staring at me. We were in English/Music class and I had been staring at Cena for the last half hour to keep from falling asleep. Foley was notorious for asking random questions and his silence told me he had popped one in hopes that I would answer.

"Uh...Shakespeare's Macbeth?" I said the first thing that came to mind.

I felt my cheeks flush as I waited for everyone to start laughing at me for not fucking listening. Foley let out a sudden gasp of joy and stated, "I'm so glad you mentioned that! Macbeth is one of my favorite works!"

Foley kept talking as he wandered back to the front of class. Riley, one of my best friends and the quarterback for our team, nodded at me from his seat to the left and asked quietly, "Did you even hear the question?"

I shrugged and he snorted laughter. I glanced over at Cena, but he was watching Foley and didn't show any sign that he had noticed I was staring at him for most of class. I figured he was smart enough to know I was looking at him, but he probably thought it was just gawking and he was taking the high road by totally ignoring me.

"Ass," I whispered out loud.

I meant it to myself for staring, but Cena suddenly turned to face me and his eyes locked intently with mine, like he had assumed that the curse was meant for him.

I shook my head and opened my mouth to tell him I wasn't talking to him, but I suddenly lost my train of thought and I was just stuck there, staring stupidly at him because I didn't know what the fuck to say.

"Mr. Orton? Do you care to explain further?" Mr. Foley said from the front of class.

He sounded like he had somehow heard what I said, and I turned to face Mr. Foley with a guilt-ridden expression as I blurted, "I didn't mean it. I was talking about someone else."

Mr. Foley nodded and replied, "Right...so Macbeth isn't your favorite?"

I was totally confused. I glanced around and realized everyone was staring at me. It took me a few long seconds to realize that Foley had asked me another question and I was again too busy staring at Cena to notice.

"Um...no, I mean...it's like, my second favorite. I like that story about the...the rabbit that gets stuck in the briar patch..." I tried to stall.

"Brer Rabbit?" Mr. Foley asked curiously.

"Uh...yeah," I shrugged.

Foley nodded but I could tell he thought my answer was shit. He reminded me and the rest of the class, "I believe the rabbit was only pretending to be stuck in the patch, to fool the fox who was tormenting him."

"Yeah, I know. I just liked that he pulled such a good con on the fox. He was a smart rabbit," I surmised.

The bell suddenly rang and I thanked God I could get out of there. I was almost out the door when Foley handed me last Friday's assignment and said, "Good job, Mr. Orton."

"Thanks," I tucked the paper in my pocket.

Cena came up behind me and Foley handed him his own graded assignment. I glanced at it sideways and noticed Cena had written a series of lyrics and gotten an A+ for his work. He followed quietly behind me as we made our way through the crowd to get to our lockers. The L.A. Schools were made on the outside with open hallways, but there were still too many fucking kids to push through. We were almost there when I saw Miz walk past me, flanked by our teammates R-Truth, Mark Henry and Riley.

Miz grabbed the lyrics out of Cena's hand and asked tauntingly, "What's this, J-Bitch?"

Cena just stared at him. Miz pulled a lighter out of his pocket and set up the pages to be flamed. Without thinking, I grabbed the pages out of Miz's hand and shoved him to the ground. He stared at me wide eyed and I yelled, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"We're just messin' around," R-Truth defended Miz.

"Yeah! Whaddafuck, Orton?" Henry added.

Riley gave me a curious look as well. I tried to save face, yelling at Miz, "If you set fire to shit and get another detention or suspension, you're off the fucking team! We have a game on Friday night and I don't want you missing it, numb nuts!"

The other guys quieted down as soon as I finished. We all knew that Miz was always getting into trouble and he was on his last warning. We were also going up against one of our biggest rivals on Friday, and nobody who was anybody wanted to miss that game.

I reached down to help Miz up. He argued with me, saying, "It's not like Goldberg is around!"

Goldberg was the gym teacher slash hall monitor slash pain in our asses. He was one massive dude with an even bigger chip on his shoulder after Mr. Hart took over as our coach. Goldberg found so much pleasure in punishing us for anything he could find, I swore he got hard and jacked off about it, later.

As if Goldberg knew we were talking about him, he came from around the corner and shouted instantly, "What the hell is going on, here?"

I folded up Cena's lyrics in my hand. Goldberg reached for them, so I shoved the lyrics into the front of my pants to keep him away. Miz busted out laughing and Goldberg glared at him, then noticed the lighter on the ground. He picked it up and shoved it in my face, asking acidly, "Is this yours, Mr. Orton?"

I scoffed. He stared at me relentlessly, so I lifted the front of my shirt to expose my perfectly buffed chest and stated arrogantly, "Does it look like I smoke?"

Riley started laughing along with Miz. Goldberg pocketed the lighter and took me by the arm as he ordered, "To the office! Now!"

* * *

I wasn't worried about going to the office, I just made Goldberg think that so he'd let me wait alone by the front desk until Principal McMahon showed up. As soon as Goldberg was gone, I turned on the charm for the student clerk, Miss Eve Torres.

"Hey there, sexy thing," I gave her the hottest smile I could muster.

She blushed and told me with a wave of her hand, "Go away, Randy! You're going to get me into trouble."

"Me? Trouble you? I would never!" I argued.

She laughed and asked curiously, "What's up?"

I casually glanced around to make sure we were alone before I leaned in close and whispered, "I need you to look up an address for me."

"What? I could lose my student privileges!" Eve hissed.

I gave her a super frown-face and replied desperately, "I just need John Cena's apartment number so I can give him back something he dropped! Please, Evie? Plleeeeaaaaseee!"

She sternly put her hands on her hips and glared at me, so I put my lips within inches of hers and whispered, "Mike's having a party this Saturday. If you do this for me...I'll take you up to his parent's room and go down on you in their sweet thousand dollar bed."

Sexual favors didn't always work as easily with girls, but I really needed that apartment number. Eve blushed again and rolled her eyes, scolding me, "You shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm not some bimbo who just goes around giving people stuff for a good tongue-job."

I quickly shook my head and told her, "I don't think of you like that. I just wanna do something special for you for helping me out."

She hesitated, so I gave her my signature puppy-got-ran-over expression and she relented, "Alright, alright, I'll have the number by the time you get out of the office."

"I love you," I smiled at her.

Eve scoffed and replied sarcastically, "I'll be sure to draw your name on my notebook with a heart around it during next hour."

* * *

I was lucky Principal McMahon was a sports fanatic.

He gave me trash duty after the game on Friday, but at least I wouldn't be stuck in detention staring at the leaks in the ceiling while that CM Punk Super-Freak shot paper clips at me. Asshole.

Eve whispered the number to me as I walked out so Principal McMahon didn't notice. I nodded a thank you to her and said smoothly, "See you Saturday night."

Principal McMahon thought our little flirtation was a sign we were dating and stated awkwardly, "You kids be safe! The nurse can show you what to do if you have questions."

I considered the offer. Our school nurse was hot, but I had more important things on my mind.

John Cena's apartment complex was only a few minutes from school. I parked on the street and waited a few minutes before I got the courage to walk up to the building. I felt totally out of my element-a tall, white jock with a Letter jacket and two hundred dollar Nike shoes climbing the steps of a complex designed in the 1920's that looked like it was used for the filming of the first Candyman movie. I could hear vicious dogs barking from the other side of some of the doors. Others had odd smells coming from them. I could hear televisions blaring full blast, people yelling at their spouses and children, and some had primal noises coming from them that weren't clear if they were having sex or killing each other...or both.

I knocked on door 225. An old Southern fart opened the door and stared at me with soft eyes as he asked calmly, "Yes, son?"

"Is John Cena here?" I asked curiously.

He nodded and opened the door to let me inside, saying politely, "I'm Dustin Rhodes, his foster father. My wife, Sable, she's in the kitchen taking care of the baby."

I took a quick glance around. The living room, kitchen and hallway were separated by only one wall and the whole area was about as big as my bedroom. There were two small Hispanic boys sitting on the living room couch immersed with a TV that looked older than I was. Dustin took a seat on a vintage recliner that blew dust when he cranked up the footrest. The place was tidy enough for a surprise social services visit, but the decay was still obvious.

I saw a woman with frizzy blond hair in the kitchen. She was supporting a baby girl on her hip while she stirred a pot on the stove. I went around to greet the woman and said, "Hello, ma'am. My name is Randy Orton."

She gave me a tired smile and replied, "I'm Sable. It's nice to meet you. You one of John's friends?"

"Yes, ma'am," I nodded.

She craned her neck and shouted at the hallway, "Alicia! Someone's here to see John!"

Sable looked back at me and added, "Alicia will take you right back to him. Make sure you listen to her, though. Alicia is very attached to John."

I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but I nodded anyway. A dark skinned teenage girl with a mass of curly dark hair came trotting out from the hallway and I assumed she was Alicia. I grinned at her, but she gave me a once-over and put her hands on her hips, stating darkly, "Watch you want wit' John?"

My face fell as I realized my uncanny charm proved useless against this woman. How could that be?

"Let him talk to his friend, Alicia," Sable ordered from the kitchen.

Alicia gave me another quick scan before stated brashly, "Fine."

She turned on her heel and trotted back into the hallway. I followed her as she led me through what seemed like a maze of inter-connected apartments that had been remodeled, albeit in a sloppy way, to resemble a series of bedrooms. After a couple of sharp turns, I became dizzy from the waves of chipping blue paint that surrounded me. Alicia finally stopped at the end of the second hall and knocked on the last door, saying loudly through it, "John? I'm coming in!"

He didn't respond, but she still opened the door and stepped inside. I started to walk in as well, but Alicia shoved me back out into the hallway and shouted, "Don't you come in here unless I tell you to!"

"Alright, alright," I put my hands up in defeat.

She glared at me as she backed into the room and slammed the door in my face. I could hear her talking in low tones with John for a minute, then the door slowly opened again and Alicia told me cautiously, "You can come on in, now."

I slowly stepped past her into the room. It was the same faded blue as the hallways, but most of the walls were covered in amazing drawings of professional wrestlers, both past and present. I recognized them because I was a fan of wrestling myself, although I rarely talked to anyone about it because it always came down to if I thought it were real or not, and no matter what I answered, people still thought it was shit.

John was sitting on his bed and watching a small TV he had propped up on school books. I spotted a familiar face in one of the drawings and mentioned to him, "Andre the Giant. I wish I could've seen his matches."

"They have him on DVD, you know," John remarked dryly.

I could tell he was testing me to see if I were a true fan or just playing on his affections. I replied easily, "DVD isn't like the real thing. The first Wrestlemania would've been something to see."

"Who's your favorite now?" he asked, testing me further.

I answered with a shrug, "I would say Kane, just because of his brute force, but I've always wondered what it would be like to get in the ring with Chris Jericho. He seems like he'd be funny and easy going while massively kicking your ass."

John laughed out loud and I was caught by surprise. It was the first time I ever heard him laugh.

Alicia loudly cleared her throat to notify us that she was still in the room. John quieted down and I pulled his assignment out of my jacket pocket as I explained, "I came here to give this back to you. Sorry Miz took it."

"Has he always been a dick?" John asked me curiously.

Now he was testing my loyalties to see if I would answer him honestly or as a biased jock. I replied honestly, "He used to act totally normal, but everyone thought he was boring, so he starting acting like a total dick in middle school and he still gets away with it because we find it more entertaining than his normal self."

John chuckled. I liked it when he looked happy.

I started to hand John his papers, but Alicia stepped in my path. She started smacking me violently and yelling, "Don't you get near him!"

I put my arms up to block her and Alicia took the opportunity to give me a swift kick in the pants. My balls practically exploded and I fell to my knees in pain. John argued with Alicia, "What did you do that, for?"

"He thinks he can do whatever he wants? No! He asks me before he goes near you!" Alicia stated.

I tried to ignore my overwhelming crotch pain to analyze the situation. Sable was right about Alicia's attachment to John, but it didn't feel to me like a romantic thing. It was more like Alicia was shielding John from me, but the reason why wasn't clear yet.

John sighed at Alicia and asked softly, "Would you go out and wait in the hall? I'll be fine."

She stayed where she was, so he gave her a hard stare and she finally turned to leave, spitting at me on her way out. I noticed she held onto the knob as she slammed the door so it would bounce back and stay open a little. I slowly came back to my feet and whispered, "She's a lot tougher than I expected."

John nodded and remarked knowingly, "She's always been like that."

"Are you two friends?" I asked casually, trying not to sound like I was prying.

John looked away as his memory cast a flash of pain across his face. He answered solemnly, "She was the kid sister of my best friend. I was lucky to keep her with me when we were put into foster care."

I didn't dare point out that he referred to his best friend in the past-tense, as well as the fact that Alicia would've had to have lost her family or been taken away from them to end up in foster care.

I clutched John's assignment in my hand and came over to sit at the side of his bed. For the first time since I had walked in, he became tense and shifted away from me. I didn't know whether to feel offended or confused as I put the papers down on his black comforter and said, "Um...I read your assignment while I was in the office. I hope you don't mind."

He was still tense as he asked quietly, "What did you think about it?"

I answered honestly, "It was really good. I like the part in your lyrics about the tattooed wings. I was thinking about getting tattooed arm sleeves someday, ones that have angel wings so when I open my arms, it'll look like I'm spreading the wings."

"Sounds cool," John half-smiled.

"Yeah, but your lyrics describe it better than I do," I mentioned.

He glanced at his assignment and mentioned, "Didn't you put that down your pants when Goldberg came along?"

I shrugged and replied sheepishly, "I promise, I didn't get it dirty."

He smiled and I added, "The only reason I did that was so Goldberg wouldn't take it. He usually tosses whatever he confiscates from kids."

John was quiet and I wasn't sure what else to say to him. To avoid the dreaded awkward pause, I blurted, "You going to the game on Friday?"

He shook his head and remarked, "I don't have any money."

I quickly replied, "You don't need any as long as you're a student."

John still shook his head as he pointed out, "I don't have anyone to go for."

Without thinking, I told him, "I'd like it if you came and watched me play."

He stared at me and I swallowed in a vain attempt to take back my words. When John didn't respond for a few seconds, I made the move to explain, "Look, I like you, and I want to get to know you better. If you just wanna be friends, it's cool, but if you wanna be..."

"I'm HIV positive," he said suddenly.

My brain struggled to process his words. I had seen movies like Philadelphia and The Cure. I knew that HIV was something you could get from sex, but it could also be from dirty needles, bad blood transfusions, and other crazy shit. I didn't want to look like I was judging, but my silence made John think that I was.

"You're not going to get it from sitting next to me in class, if that's what you're wondering," he stated.

"I know that, I know that. I wasn't thinking of it that way, I was just..." I tried to recover.

"You want to know how I got it," John said.

I felt like I was an interrogator sent to torture a man who had already suffered long enough. I looked away as my face turned red with embarrassment. I replied quietly, "You don't have to tell me."

"I'm gay. I've known it all my life. My best friend, he was my boyfriend, and he gave it to me," John told me.

"Why would he do that to you?" I asked angrily.

John shook his head and explained, "It wasn't like that. He didn't know he had it when he infected me. That's not how he died, though. He was gunned down by rival gang members, but I'm sure you already know that part of the story because of the rumors at school."

"I'm sorry," was all I could think to say.

John didn't respond and I added, "I'm sorry that your boyfriend was killed. I know what HIV is and I'm not freaked out about how you got it or that you have it. I won't tell anyone at school if you don't want me to."

He blinked with moderate surprise. This time, I felt like I had been given a test that he had already decided I wouldn't pass, but I had chosen my own answer instead of the ones created by society.

"I doubt it will stay a secret for long, but I do appreciate you not passing it on," John said softly.

I nodded and got up to leave. Before I reached the door, I turned back to him and asked, "So are you still coming to the game on Friday?"

Again, he was surprised by me. He asked in shock, "You still want me to go?"

"Yeah. I told you that I like you and I want to get to know you better," I said.

He looked away and stated almost to himself, "Just friends, though, right?"

"...or something more, like I said," I added.

John was speechless. I left the room and bypassed Alicia's claws...I mean uh...hands...as she tried to escort me out. She walked outside with me and asked, "Are you seriously keepin' John's secret quiet?"

I answered wisely, "I don't see why anyone needs to know."

Alicia gazed at me for a few seconds in silence, then she said thickly, "Thank you. He's been through a lot. He don't need more bullshit."

"I promise, my intentions are good," I told her.

She took a deep breath in and replied like she wasn't yet ready to trust me, "We'll see."


	2. Triumphant

2: Triumphant

"Could I take you to lunch?" I asked John the next day at school.

He gave me a curious expression and asked, "Really? Now?"

"No, I meant Tuesday of the year 2032," I joked dryly.

John snorted laughter and replied with a nod, "Alright, but I should warn you: I don't put out for less than twenty dollars' worth of food."

I shot back easily, "Oh, so spending twenty-two dollars at McDonald's will get your shoe prints on the roof of my car, huh?"

John didn't skip a beat as he countered with a straight face, "No way! I take my shoes off so there's no evidence."

I busted out laughing just as Miz came from around the corner and bellowed, "What the fuck, Randy?!"

I glared at him for so rudely interrupting and replied, "Excuse me?"

"You're ignoring me, you asshole!" Miz accused me.

His nose flared as he fumed and I countered angrily, "How could I be ignoring you? You haven't talked to me all day!"

He pointed his finger at me and argued, "I called to you in the hallway and you kept walking. I even tried to talk to you twice in Math and you acted like I wasn't even there!"

"I don't know what you're talking about! I didn't hear you say a word to me," I stated.

Miz was still furious as he replied, "I sit right behind you in Math! You had to have heard me!"

I was tired of his lame-ass excuse to chew me out. I put my hands out and mocked surprise as I told him sarcastically, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were dating now and I have to answer to you 'cause you're my bitch!"

Miz shoved me, then he shoved John just for the hell of it. John's right elbow hit the lockers and he clutched it uncomfortably like he had probably hit his funny bone.

I grabbed onto Miz and reached my arm back to punch him in the face, but Goldberg appeared and I had to play off that I was just messing around as I told Miz, "See? This is how they hold a punch in the movies."

"Oh, yeah, I get it," Miz nodded, playing along.

Goldberg stopped and stared unconvincingly at us. Miz glanced over at him and said like we just realized he was there, "Hello, sir! How has your day been?"

"Coach Hart wants to see you, Mike. Now," Goldberg stated.

Miz took off and Goldberg stepped up to face me, saying boldly, "One of these days, I'm gonna catch you doing something stupid, and I'm gonna get you thrown off the team, Orton."

I sported a cocky half-smile and reminded him, "I'm MVP of my team with a full scholarship to anywhere I choose. My grades are perfect, I'm richer than God, and my parents have made a dozen generous donations to this school so pricks like you can keep your job."

Goldberg's eyes widened a little as I finished with, "You should stop focusing on getting rid of me, because it's not gonna happen. In fact, you should be thanking me for bothering to attend this shit-hole."

He just stared at me as I turned on my heel and walked away.

_It felt good to be King. _

* * *

"I can't believe you said that to him," John shook his head at me while we ate at a nearby teen hangout.

I replied with a shrug, "I'm not usually so straightforward, but Goldberg's always tormenting me and my buddies, and I guess I just got carried away this time."

John smiled and said, "I like how you handle yourself. It's like you have all the answers or something."

"Trust me, I don't know shit. I just put on a good show," I confessed, making John laugh.

I watched him eat in silence for a while. He was left-handed, so the way he turned his fork seemed unnatural to me. I kept thinking he was going to spill his food every time he hooked a bite, but the odd angle worked for him and he never lost his grip. He chewed with a light smile on his face, like the taste of food was extremely satisfying. He took his time before swallowing, then inspected his plate carefully before taking another bite.

"So what's your family like?" he asked me curiously.

I shrugged and replied passively, "My parents are the types who started small and worked their way up to fortune with sales. My dad's an inventor for an athletic department, namely wrestling equipment, and my mom has her own cosmetic business. I've got a couple brothers but their personalities are way different from mine and we don't really spend a lot of time together."

"That's cool that your dad does athletic stuff. I was always into the scientific part of sports," John mentioned.

"Yeah, it's fun to watch him work. He gets this idea and then he buys a bunch of parts that look all shitty and he just keeps messing with them and messing with them until they turn into something that works. Sometimes it takes him months to put two pieces together," I explained.

John laughed and I asked him, "So what about you? What was your family like?"

He shook his head and replied quietly, "I don't really remember them. I grew up in a Catholic orphanage that doubled as a school. The Pastor there was really old but he was a good guy. When he thought I was old enough to know, he told me my parents were drug addicts and gave me up for money."

I swallowed hard and John added with a smile, "It doesn't really bother me that much. I liked where I grew up and the way I figure it, my parents must've wanted the best for me because they sold me to a Pastor instead of some random dude on the street."

"Did you have any siblings?" I asked softly.

John shook his head and replied, "Not that I know of. I thought about hiring a private detective to find out for me, but it's hard, you know? It's like, you don't know if they would even like you, or if you would even be able to have a relationship when you never knew each other."

I nodded with understanding. John explained on a lighter note, "I would consider the boys and girls I grew up with my siblings. I was lucky enough to only have a couple of boys I didn't get along with."

"Your best friend and boyfriend, Alicia's brother, was he from the orphanage?" I asked curiously.

John shook his head and explained, "Jeff Hardy was his name. He and Alicia had different fathers and Jeff was white. They lived down the street from the orphanage and our neighborhood was mostly black, so Jeff had a really hard time fitting in. His wild sense of style didn't help matters with his social life. We started hanging out when we were kids, and Jeff would come by the orphanage and play basketball with me while Alicia watched. She was probably the only reason we didn't get our asses beat or killed in that neighborhood."

"So, I guess the neighborhood was the reason you and Jeff got into a gang..." I said, knowing I was treading into deeper water.

John didn't seem offended in the least as he answered with a shrug, "Yeah, I guess. We kind of started our own gang, just the three of us, with Jeff as the leader. He was so fearless that it attracted some other members. We had another white guy who moved into the area named Adam, a kid from Africa named Justin Gabriel, and a couple of guys from Mexico named Rey and Hunico."

"Sounds like quite a mismatch," I smiled.

"Yeah, but it worked, somehow. Adam was like our informant; he always knew every rumor and every piece of information we needed to keep out of trouble. He was really sarcastic and he could make us all laugh," John remembered.

"What about Justin Gabriel? What was he like?" I asked curiously.

John laughed and replied, "He was kind of like a puppy. He had the cutest face and he was always so nice and easy going, but it was funny because he could convince anyone to do anything. I actually watched him convince a clerk at a gas station to give him $60 bucks."

My eyes widened in shock as John went on, "Rey and Hunico would cruise the streets with Gabriel all the time. Hunico was from Juarez, so he had been driving since he was like, 8-years-old. Thankfully, he never got pulled over, because he didn't have a license."

I laughed and John added, "Sometimes Rey would get mad and Hunico would start talking to him in Spanish. Gabriel thought they were talking bad about the rest of us and he would start yelling in his Native language. Adam knew French, so he would start yelling and Jeff and I would just laugh our asses off while everyone yelled at each other in different languages."

"That is really funny," I said, after a good laugh.

John replied with a smile, "Yeah, we had a lot of good times."

He looked distantly out the window and I knew he was hurting. I cleared my throat and said, "You know, we should probably get back to school."

"Yeah," John nodded, getting up at the same time I did.

"So, you excited to see me at the game tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

John mocked a frown and replied jokingly, "Not really."

"If I drop my pants in the middle of the field, would you be more excited to come, then?" I pretended to negotiate.

John still acted as if he were not too interested, so I said jokingly, "Alright, I'll drop my pants and I'll kick Miz in the balls."

"Well, I guess that would do," John pretended to huff with disappointment.

"I could bend over and attempt to give myself a blow job," I added.

"That I would like to see," John acted like he was suddenly more interested.

* * *

Friday night was cold as hell, but the whole school came to watch us play.

I always prepped myself before a game. I'd bounce back and forth on the balls of my feet and imagine myself tackling the biggest guy on the other team, taking him out like he weighed nothing. It was my incentive to win: if I could see myself challenging the toughest guy with no problem, the other guys would be nothing to me.

I walked out on the field and glanced up at the bleachers for John. There were so many people, it was hard to tell. I kept checking back as much as I could before the game started, but I couldn't seem to lay eyes on John.

Miz gave me a hard stare while we were huddle and I knew he was still pissed at me for calling him a bitch the day before. He was also aware that my attention was being divided between the game and the crowd, and I knew he'd figure out why soon enough. Mike acted like an asshole, but he was a smart asshole, and he had an uncanny ability for piecing things together more easily than anyone else I knew. He was the guy you hated to watch movies with because he always blurted out the ending long before they said who did it.

I didn't bother to hide the fact that I was looking for John because I knew Miz would figure it out eventually, anyway. I didn't think he would be understanding about it, but we had known each other a long time, and I knew he wasn't the type to rat me out to the whole school. At the most, he'd taunt me about it for a while and move on to something else. He tended to lose interest in things that weren't about him, no matter how earth shattering the thing might be.

The game started and I still wasn't seeing John. I felt Miz ram my shoulder on the way out to the field as he tried to get me to focus. I put my head in the game and played my ass off in hopes that John were watching me. Playing in front of almost a thousand people didn't bother me in the slightest, but I found myself feeling nervous with the idea of playing in front of John.

I glanced up at the bleachers during the first quarter and got tackled so hard, it knocked the wind out of me. Coach benched me for a short time and I checked out the bleachers, again. I finally spotted John at the very top on the far left right side sitting next to Alicia and he gave me a quick wave.

_Holy shit. _

I didn't know I was holding my breath until Coach Hart yelled, "Dammit, Orton, get on the field!"

I let the air out too fast and I stumbled as I got up. Coach Hart became concerned and asked, "You feeling light headed, Orton?"

"I'm fine, Coach," I said, and he let me back out to play.

Now that I knew where John was, I couldn't help glancing up to see him as much as possible. Each time, I felt a sense of surprise that he was still there, like he was just going to lose interest and leave at any second. When we were on the final play and he was still in his seat, I caught the ball and ran like I was in a race for my life to get the winning touchdown.

The crowd cheered loud enough to make my eardrums ring. I looked up at John and waved. He smiled and waved back at me.

"You are so fucking corny right now," Miz hissed as he walked past me and glared.

I would've hit him but Henry picked me up on his shoulders to celebrate my victory. We went back to the locker room and I got dressed as fast as I could so I could find John.

As soon as I got out to the parking lot, I rushed around to try and find him. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him standing with Alicia next to my red Mustang.

"What's up? What'd you think?" I asked excitedly.

"It was awesome, man! You've got skills on the field, I have to admit," John smiled.

I glanced at Alicia but she just scoffed and looked away. John informed me quietly, "She loves football and she thought you were great, but she doesn't want to say it to your face."

I grinned broadly and Alicia rolled her eyes. I looked back at John and asked, "All the kids usually have an after party at Mike's house. You wanna join me?"

John shifted uncomfortably and countered, "You sure that's a good idea? I mean, Miz really hates me."

"He doesn't hate you. He's all bark and no bite, and as long as you're with me, he won't give you a hard time," I stated.

"Well, won't he think it's weird? Me hanging out with you and all?" John asked.

I could tell he was aware of the possible stigma that could be placed on us for hanging out together and he was searching for my reaction to the idea of being considered gay. I shrugged and replied, "These people have known me all my life. If they haven't accepted me by now, then fuck 'em."

John blinked with surprise and I asked again, "You wanna come?"

He looked at Alicia and she shrugged like she didn't care. John nodded and said, "Yeah, we'll come. Could you give us a ride?"

* * *

Mike's house was swarming with people. I knew most of them, but parties were always an open invitation for freaks, rivals, and since this was an upper class gathering, the occasional politician, to sneak their way in. Miz lived in a mansion with a giant pool and more electronics than a Best Buy, and his parties were so good, it was common to see celebrities and musicians hanging out and getting shit faced with the rest of us.

"Was that Chris Daughtry?" John asked me as we walked past a guy with a guitar to get to the kitchen.

"Probably," I shrugged, grabbing some beers from the fridge.

Alicia was looking around wide eyed as I popped the cap and handed her a drink. She hugged it against her and inched closer to John like the crowd was making her nervous. I nodded to the sliding back doors and mentioned, "We could go outside. It gets pretty noisy in here."

John nodded and took Alicia's arm. We walked out to the massive patio, where people were attempting to climb the banister and launch themselves into the pool. Some of them made it, while others went face first into the bushes. John and I laughed as we watched the people try to get out of the bushes while Alicia rested her head on his shoulder and stayed eerily quiet. It was much quieter on the patio and she seemed to ease up after a few minutes, but still stayed super close to John.

We sat down on the patio chairs and enjoyed our beers until Mike came out, flanked by Mark Henry and Ron Truth.

"What's Cena doing here? I didn't invite him!" Mike immediately launched into me.

I stood up and countered darkly, "He's _my_ invite. Why don't you go back inside and make sure your sister Kelly doesn't try to take her top off."

Miz fumed at me, then glanced back through the sliding glass doors just to make sure Kelly wasn't doing exactly what I pointed out.

"It's only a matter of time, man. When Kel gets drunk, her twins come out," Ron reminded Miz.

"Man, why you bring invites to the party? Why won't you hang out wit' us?" Henry asked me with some frustration.

"Maybe we should go," John started to get up with Alicia.

"No, _you_ should go. The hot chick can stay," Miz pointed at Alicia.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" Alicia clenched her fists.

The guys all took a big step back, then Miz stated, "Fine, let 'em both go home."

"I said they can stay," I argued.

Mike glared at me as John tried to keep the peace, "It's cool, Randy. We need to get going, anyway. I have to see the doctor early tomorrow morning."

I locked eyes with John as all of my focus turned to him. Miz immediately picked up on the change in atmosphere and asked suspiciously, "What's so important about seeing a doctor, Cena? You got crabs or something?"

The other guys chuckled. Alicia and I didn't say a word and tried our best to betray nothing. John looked at Miz, and without skipping a beat, he proclaimed calmly, "I didn't want to say anything since I'm the new guy and all, but...I'm pregnant."

Mike blinked a few times before registering the joke. Henry busted out laughing and Ron chuckled as John continued with a straight face, "I know it probably makes me look like a slut with a bun in the oven at such a young age, but I'm already making plans with an adoption agency and all I need to worry about is not going into labor in gym class, 'cause that would be embarrassing."

Henry and Ron were on the floor laughing. Miz glared acidly at John like he wanted to say so many insulting things, but he knew I'd stop him before the words got out of his mouth. Even I was chuckling as John took Alicia by the arm and said to her, "Well, baby, let's go. I think we've had enough fun for one night."

I drove them back to the apartment complex, still chuckling to myself as I remembered the look on Mike's face when John said he was pregnant. Alicia got out of the car first and waited a few yards away as John turned to face me and asked seriously, "You think they'll wonder about the doctor?"

I answered assuredly, "No way. They'll all get so drunk, they won't remember what you said."

"I shouldn't have said it," John lowered his gaze.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and rubbed it as I told him, "Don't worry about it. If for some reason it does come up again, I'll just tell them you were getting an old football injury checked out. I might say that anyway so Miz will get off your back about joining the team."

"Sounds like a plan," John smiled, but I could still tell it bothered him.

"Hey, I'd like it if you called me tomorrow as soon as your appointment's over and let me know how it went, if that's okay with you," I said.

"Tomorrow's Saturday. You probably don't want your cell ringing that early," John pointed out.

I shrugged and told him, "I'm not the type to sleep in. I always wake up at 4 AM."

"Okay," John nodded that he would call me.

I remembered the party Saturday night and added, "Mike is having another thing at his house tomorrow night. I've gotta be there for obligatory reasons."

John lifted a brow and I told him honestly, "I owe a girl a very personal favor for getting me your address."

He looked away for a second and I thought maybe he was upset. I clarified, "There's nothing between me and her, in case you were wondering."

"No, I wasn't really wondering that," John said, but he didn't elaborate.

"I could tell her I'll do something else for her if it bothers you," I told him.

He shook his head and replied, "I think you should do what the lady asks for."

I still felt like I was doing something wrong, so I asked thickly, "Are you sure it's okay?"

John made a slight smile as he thought long and hard about his answer. It was almost like he was a little embarrassed to tell me what was on his mind. I could hardly take it anymore as I whispered, "What?"

He finally looked at me and said, "I just can't help but imagine what you look like going down on somebody."

I shyly lowered my head and replied, "Maybe I could show _you_, sometime."

John's smile faded and a look of pain and despair flashed across his face before it went completely blank. He returned in a detached way, "Yeah, maybe."

He made it sound like he was only saying it because he thought that was what I wanted to hear, but he didn't mean it. I opened my mouth to ask him what the deal was, but he quickly opened the door and stepped out.

"Thanks for letting us watch you play. I'll call you tomorrow," John said in a rushed tone before slamming the car door in my face.


	3. The Tower

3: The Tower

I was anxious the moment I woke up. After the way John left me the night before, I was sure he would never speak to me, again, let alone call me to tell me how his doctor's appointment went.

I worked out to pass the time. Exercise always kept me focused on my body and took me out of my head for a while. I couldn't help coming back to John, though. I had no intention of hurting him with what I had said. Even with him being sick, there were ways that I could still taste his cock without making myself sick. Maybe he didn't know that there were flavored condoms he could wear. Maybe he was afraid the condom would break and I would accidentally swallow, and he couldn't bear to take that chance.

"Stop thinking about it," I told myself, trying to focus on lifting weights, but my mind began to wander again..

Maybe he thought me going down on him was gross. It was rare, especially for guys, but I knew some of them who thought cock taste in their mouth or someone else's was just wrong. It was usually a cleanliness issue, and the guys I knew who were freaked out by it were germ-a-phobes.

"Stop thinking about it," I told myself again, getting frustrated with my own thoughts.

I glanced at my cell phone, but there wasn't so much as a text message. Mike usually sent me texts in the morning about his parties and whatnot. I already knew about his party tonight, but I was a little surprised he hadn't sent me another invite.

I changed to the treadmill, thinking that running would take more focus than weight lifting.

My mind continued to wander as I thought about what John might be like in bed. I wondered what this Jeff Hardy kid looked like and I pictured him as some short punk with a death wish. I imagined him covered in tattoos that he obtained illegally from friends and he drove a motorcycle and wore torn up jeans with chains on them. I pictured what it looked like when John kissed Jeff. It didn't look right, so I pictured what it would look like when I kissed John.

I hadn't kissed him, yet. What if he didn't like the way I kissed him? That seemed stupid. Girls were the only ones who complained about shit like that. What if John didn't let me kiss him? What if he was too worried about infecting me and he only let me touch him with gloves on or something? What if he got sick enough and that was the only way I _could _touch him?

"Stop, stop," I told myself, stopping the treadmill so I could get off.

I couldn't help feeling hard from all these thoughts about John. He was crazy sexy and he made me crazy horny. Even when I thought of all the reasons why this shouldn't work, why it was dangerous for me to get involved with him because it was inevitable that I would lose him, I couldn't help myself. Even if he decided he didn't want to get too close and never let me touch him the way I wanted to...I still wanted to be with him.

This was the most bizarre feeling to me. I was a teenage guy. I had been thinking about sex since I was about 9-years-old. By the time I was 13, nothing else mattered. Just about anything that moved turned me on in some way. I jerked myself off fairly constantly because I thought I'd lose my mind if I didn't.

_Then came John._

He was like a completely different form of attraction. I didn't think about sticking it in every hole and tainting him like I thought about the ones before him. I didn't picture yelling at him and breaking up with him because he had already become boring to me. I wasn't thinking about ways to persuade him to let me put it in. I wasn't planning ways to get him naked. It wasn't because of a lack of interest. He was just...something new to crave.

My phone suddenly rang and it startled me so bad, I came and fell to my knees. I squirted into my boxers as my cell played its "Make Me Bad" ringtone from Korn. I knew it was about to go to voicemail, so I crawled over to it and grabbed the phone fast, answering it before I bothered to check whom it was.

"Hi...hello...uh...hi..." I was struggling to catch my breath.

"Uh...are you in the middle of something? I could call back in a few minutes," John chuckled from the other end.

I almost lost my breath again as I realized I was practically heaving through the phone like some total pervert. I put all my focus into calming down as I asked, "Shit...sorry. I was really worried you wouldn't call."

John didn't respond right away, and I thought I had blown it, again. I added quickly, "I'm sorry for what I said last night. I didn't mean to-"

"It's cool, man. I'm not worried about that, but thanks for the apology," John said.

I breathed a sigh of relief and John asked warily, "What are you doing right now, exactly?"

"I was...I was...working out," I struggled to remember the last few moments before John called.

He laughed loudly off to one side, like he was holding the phone away from himself. I could tell he thought I was jerking off and trying to come up with a bad lie to cover it up. He asked when he finished laughing, "Working out, huh? Well, you mind if I come over and we can hang out for a while?"

"Really? Yeah, man, yeah...that's...wow, yeah," I was completely caught off-guard.

"You better finish up your '_workout_' though, 'cause Alicia might suspect something and you don't want her coming over after me to set you straight," John mentioned.

"Right," I laughed.

* * *

"I really was working out, you know," I said as John parked next to the gate of my driveway.

"Oh yeah, I believe it," he snorted and rolled his eyes.

I punched in the code to the gate and let him in. I glanced back at his car and noticed it was a beat up little blue Audi. I gave him an incredulous look and he said with a shrug, "It doesn't look like much, but I restored the engine myself, so it runs like a dream."

"You're a mechanic?" I asked curiously.

"I spent a lot of time playing around with cars. Jeff had an uncle that owned a junkyard and we used to hang out there a lot. He taught us stuff and he said I had a natural talent," John explained.

"That's a pretty awesome talent," I told him.

He blushed and looked up at my house. His eyes went wide as he mentioned, "I didn't know you had so much...house."

"My parents like to gloat," I joked, making John laugh.

We walked through the front door and he froze, staring at the giant white walls and the black and white marble floors and the chandelier with real diamonds that made up the main hall. I leaned into him and whispered, "This is just the entrance, you know."

"Yeah, well...it's a pretty amazing entrance," he pointed out.

I showed him around the house, pointing out all the lavish things my parents had bought along the way, the pool in the backyard, the room reserved for an entertainment system, and the dozen bedrooms we had reserved for the help and guests. John seemed the most shocked that we employed our own chef and housekeeper. He mentioned to me, "I don't really trust anyone else doing my laundry. They'll know what my underwear looks like and that's just too much information."

I laughed and took him back to my room. I made the extra effort to show him the workout room across from my room, but he still made a sideways glance like he didn't believe I was even in there, earlier.

Once he came into my room, John had to touch everything. I had electronics he hadn't even heard of, collections of Star Wars memorabilia that he thought only existed at auctions and in George Lucas' household, and a small collection of wrestling autographs my dad had gotten me when I was still young.

"You have Andre the Giant's autograph? No way!" John stared at it like it was made of gold.

"Yeah. I've got Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker up there, too. I really want Owen Hart and my dad found one from a private seller, but he wouldn't let it go. My dad is still working on him, but the seller won't name a price," I explained.

"That's amazing," John was in total awe.

I jumped into my King bed with a black feather down comforter and watched John survey my stuff like he was a kid in a candy store. He slowly worked his way around to my bed and rubbed the down comforter between his fingers as he said, "This is unlike anything I've ever seen, before. I thought a room like this was only in the movies."

"A lot of it is for tax write-offs," I joked.

This time, John didn't laugh. He breathed a long sigh and shook his head as he looked around the room once more. I hadn't noticed before how tired he looked. He climbed into bed and lay down next to me, trying to keep the bottoms of his shoes up like he was worried about messing up the comforter. I scoffed at him and said, "Don't feel like you have to be a certain way, here. I'm not going to throw you out for marking up my blankets."

"It's just so...expensive," John shifted carefully into a more comfortable position.

I stared into his blue eyes and asked, "You mind if I come a little closer?"

"Okay," he whispered, and I moved in on him, staying on my side so I could see him, better.

I spread my palm across his chest and felt the muscles underneath his t-shirt. He took my hand with both of his and rubbed each of my fingers, pondering them as he mentioned, "Your hands are so rough."

"I'm so busy with football and shit, my hands get ruined fast," I replied.

I could tell as he rubbed my fingers that he was weaker since the last time I saw him. I asked quietly, "Did you do okay at the doctor?"

John nodded but chuckled morosely as he told me, "They do a lot of tests on me. Sometimes, I get so tired, I just wanna tell 'em that's enough and walk out."

"What kind of tests?" I asked softly.

John looked away like he wanted to spare me the details and answered more simply, "Strength tests, blood tests and stuff like that."

"Do they give you medicine?" I asked.

He breathed a long sigh and kept it simple again as he replied, "I have to take a lot of stuff. It gets kind of annoying, trying to remember everything and when to take it, but it works, so I can't complain."

I said sympathetically, "I wish I could be there with you so you didn't feel alone."

His eyes locked with mine and we just watched each other for a while, then I leaned in and carefully pressed my lips against his forehead.

He closed his eyes and I thought he would tell me to stop, but he didn't say a word, so I drifted down and kissed his left cheek, then his right. He still didn't tell me to stop, so I drifted down a little further and pressed my lips against the cleft in his chin. When he didn't argue with that, I thought it were safe enough to try for his lips.

When mine made contact with him, it made me feel warm inside, even though his lips were unusually cold. They were soft and tasted like mint chapstick. I took mostly his bottom lip in the first try, testing to see if he would let me go on. When he didn't pull away, I took a little more, and a little more, until I had his mouth surrounded with mine.

I didn't try to use any tongue because I didn't want him to pull away. I was trying to be so careful, feeling more and more anxious with each second that passed that he would break from me and tell me I couldn't have any more. He let out a groan that vibrated between us and his hands clutched my hand more intensely. I didn't think of it as a pain response until he made a muffled cry and dug his fingernails into my hand.

I instantly pulled away from him and he gasped for air and his eyes brimmed with tears. I told him, "I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'm sorry..."

He shook his head and replied, "It's okay, it wasn't you...I'm just really sensitive...after the doctor..."

I could tell he was struggling as his hands started to shake around mine. I asked him quickly, "What can I do? Can I get you something?"

"No, I just need to rest...just for a minute..." he trailed off, closing his eyes.

I pulled the edge of my comforter and covered him as much as possible, then I held him in my arms until he fell asleep beside me. I watched him for a while to make sure he was all right before I closed my eyes to rest with him.

* * *

When I woke up, it was dark outside and John wasn't in bed with me. I got up and searched for him in the house, but the housekeeper told me he had already left. I called his house and Alicia answered. I asked her quickly, "Is John okay?"

"Yeah. He's asleep, though. Call back tomorrow," she stated.

"Okay. Tell him I miss him if he wakes up, okay?" I told her.

"Kay," she sounded like she was almost in tears.

"Is something wrong? Are you sure he's okay?" I asked again.

"Yeah," she sniffled, "It's just I didn't 'spect you to say that."

"Yeah, well, I mean it," I told her.

She said goodbye and hung up. I drove to Mike's party to finish what I had promised to Eve, wondering how Mike would be to me after I crashed his last party by bringing John and Alicia. He wasn't around when I first walked in, but Eve was right by the door and I signaled for her to follow me upstairs. We went to the room that belonged to Mike's parents, the best in the house, and I told the couple already in there to get out, then I locked the door and motioned for Eve to take the bed.

She laughed and lifted up her dress to take her underwear off as she told me, "You're such a gentleman, Randy. None of that, 'Get down and let me suck you, bitch!'"

I looked at her wide eyed and asked, "Who the fuck says that to you?!"

Eve laughed again and climbed into bed without answering me. I climbed in with her and slowly parted her knees. She didn't seem the least bit nervous as I brought my arms underneath her and wrapped them around her hips, sinking my face into the velvet folds between her legs.

It wasn't hard for me to get Eve going and I was more worried about someone knocking at the door and interrupting us than anything else. Eve's moans got louder and deeper the more I drank her and I couldn't help feeling turned on myself. I hadn't had anything this close to real action in months, and Eve's generous responses only egged me on.

John suddenly popped into my mind and I broke away to take a breath. Eve sat up and asked me softly, "What's wrong?"

"Um..." I tried to respond, my eyes blurring with tears.

"Randy? What's wrong?" Eve became worried.

I sat up on my knees and wiped the tears out of my eyes. I wasn't sure exactly what my problem was, so I couldn't communicate it to Eve. She put her hands on my face and asked me, "Do you wanna fuck? If you don't have a condom you can put it in my ass."

"I just...I don't..." I couldn't set my thought straight.

She pulled me into her and led me back down to bed. She took off my shirt and opened my jeans. She used her feet to shove my jeans down to my knees, then she helped me pull her dress over her head, revealing a black lace bra underneath. She didn't take her bra off, but I wasn't too worried about it as she rolled over and waited for me.

I spit thickly into my hand to lube myself and pushed slowly into her backside. She shuddered and clenched the blankets until I was all the way in, then she moaned with pleasure as I pumped her with slow, short bursts to keep from giving her any unneeded pain.

It was nice to fuck again. It felt good and Eve was gorgeous. She smelled like peaches, one of my favorite fruits. She was responsive to me and seemed to be enjoying herself. I just couldn't help thinking how much I wanted to be doing this to John.

I closed my eyes and pictured him underneath me. I pressed against Eve's skin and pretended it were John's. I imagined him naked and hard, standing beside the bed and watching me go at it with Eve, waiting with anticipation that his turn was next.

"Oh God," I groaned, reaching around to rub Eve in front.

She responded so well to me masturbating her, I was forced to open my eyes to make sure I wasn't overwhelming her. She kicked the bed and clutched the sheets with one hand while reaching around to grab my ass with her other hand. I knew she was coming and I tried to close my eyes again to imagine John so I could finish myself up.

I saw his ocean blue eyes. I saw his mint flavored lips. I lifted up his shirt and pictured myself kissing the scars on his stomach. I imagined myself reaching down the front of his jeans, rubbing his cock between my fingers as I measured it in my palm and tried to determine how big he would be stiff.

Eve and I came at the same time. I squirted three times into her backside, noting that it was the strongest orgasm I had ever felt. I slowly pulled out of her, feeling sheepish as I waited for her to argue with me for filling her ass with my seed.

She didn't say anything as she rolled over to face me. It was suddenly awkward, like we had both done something we shouldn't have. I knew why I was feeling weird, but I had no idea why Eve was being just as uneasy.

"Um...you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she nodded.

"I'm sorry, I-"

She got out of bed to get her dress and replied with a short laugh, "Don't worry about it. We had a good time, right?"

"Yeah," I said, but I couldn't shake the feeling Eve was still upset.

"If you don't want me to say anything, I won't," I told her, pulling up my jeans to close them.

She didn't answer me as she put her dress on and went for her underwear. I put my shirt on and sat at the edge of the bed. My high was short lived and falling fast as I began to think I had done something wrong.

"It's not you," Eve said, unlocking the door and putting her hand on the knob.

I gazed at her as she confessed, "I'm dating Mike. We've been keeping it quiet and no one knows about us. I haven't let him have sex with me and he's been asking me about it more and more. I was thinking about breaking up with him tonight, and then I saw you, and I..."

She looked away and I finished for her, "You were looking for a way to release the pressure."

"I'm sorry, I should've told you. I know you and Mike are close," Eve said.

I nodded and asked, "Did he know I was going down on you, tonight?"

"Mike knows everything. He wasn't worried about it because he doesn't see going down on someone as cheating. He also thinks you're too into John Cena to start anything with me," Eve answered.

I swallowed hard and she added quietly, "I'm not here to judge you, and I don't plan to tell Mike what happened, but you and I both know he'll figure it out, because he always does."

"Yeah, I know," I said morosely.

"I'm sorry, Randy. It wasn't fair of me to put you in this place," Eve said.

"It's okay. Miz and I haven't been on good terms for a while. I was bound to royally piss him off, eventually," I replied.

Her eyes filled with tears as she opened the door and left. I waited for a few minutes, thinking maybe Miz would come barreling through the door to pound me.

I heard a gentle knock at the door and I knew it was Kelly even before she peeked inside to see me. She was completely drunk as she burped and giggled, then hopped over to me and draped her arms around my neck. She flashed her pearly whites at me and whispered, "I've got something, Randy. Wanna see what it is?"

She glanced around like someone might hear us. I knew I was going to be on Mike's shit list soon, so I decided to humor his sister as I asked Kelly, "What is it?"

"Come on," she pulled me to my feet and led me out of the room.

She pulled me down the empty hallway to her room. I could hear the bass as music played downstairs. I made a mental note that if Kelly was about to come on to me, I would get out before I dug myself in deeper as she pulled me into her room and slammed the door with another giggle.

Kelly locked the door and looked at me like I would never find a way out, then she crept over to her bed and got down on her knees to reach underneath it. I watched her pull out a wooden box and open it up. She covered her mouth to stifle her own laughter as she blushed and waited for me to look inside the box.

I got down on my knees to see and my eyes widened with shock as I realized it was a box full of dildos and sex toys.

"What the fuck?" I reached down to pull out one that was shaped like a butterfly.

Kelly laughed out loud and covered her mouth again, glancing around suspiciously like someone was about to jump out and bust us. She pulled out a pair of anal beads and handed them to me as she explained, "My friend, she knows this guy who has a shop, and he gives her extra stuff, and she gives some of it to me. I guess she thinks I should spice up my sex life, but I don't really know what most of this is, and I don't really want it."

I pulled out a silver egg and twisted it. A red light on its top turned on and it started vibrating like crazy. Kelly laughed and grabbed it out of my hand, saying, "I'll keep that one."

I chuckled as I searched through the box. Some of the stuff inside was even new to me. I saw an icy blue object on the bottom and I pulled it out, taking most of the stuff out of the box with me.

"Be careful! I don't want any of this left out or my dad will be so pissed!" Kelly rushed to get the items that fell out.

I examined the ice blue object and realized it was a strap-on made for men. It had a harness that went around the hips and thighs, and the icy blue part was a hollow silicone base in the shape of a penis that went over a man's erection. There was a button on the side and a place for a small battery, probably for vibration. I assumed it was designed for smaller guys to appear bigger, or for a guy to last longer if his partner needed more time to achieve climax. The base was even designed to go over the balls so the whole crotch was a part of the entertainment.

As I stared down at the strap-on, I suddenly realized that I could put the thing on and use it with John. I wouldn't even need a condom, because the base was thick and sturdy. All I had to do was make sure it fit me right and pitch the idea to John.

"Can I have this one?" I asked Kelly.

She answered with a wave of her hand, "Sure, whatever! That one's made for boys, anyway."

"Thanks," I said, trying to think of a way to hide it so I could get it back to my car.

I shoved it down the side of my pants so it would hold to my leg and Kelly started laughing hysterically. I whispered to her before I left, "Don't tell Mike I took this one. Just say I stole the anal beads."

She laughed even harder, turning red in the face as I opened the door to leave.

I almost ran right into Mark Henry. He brought his fist back and slammed me right in the lower jaw. I flew backward and almost hit the baseboard of Kelly's bed.

She screamed and shoved the box back under the bed before Henry saw it. He came in to hit me again and I told him, "Not in front of Kelly! We'll take this outside!"

He nodded and told Kelly, "Sorry, baby girl."

She frowned at him and pleaded, "Don't beat up Randy!"

"Your brother wants me to," Henry told her.

I took advantage of Mark's momentary distraction and ducked under his left arm so I could rush out of the room before he had time to turn around. I slid down the railing of the stairs and took off out the door to my car, grateful that I didn't run into Miz along the way.

I tossed the strap-on into the backseat and peeled out of the driveway as fast as I could, running over some flowers and barely missing several other cars in the process. When I was clear, I sighed with frustration as I realized how much shit had just hit the fan, and all because I had to go and ask for John's address.

_I didn't regret it one bit._


	4. Genuine Fake

4: Genuine Fake

I couldn't stop thinking about John. I waited to call because it was a Sunday and I wanted to let him sleep in. Once the afternoon hit, I figured it was safe to let him know I wanted to see him. He asked me to come over and he was waiting outside when I pulled up to the complex. John nodded at me when I got out and asked, "Wanna walk with me?"

"Sure," I told him, and we started down the street.

It wasn't exactly the best neighborhood to be walking around in, but I didn't want to argue with John about it. He was probably the first person I had ever met who I didn't like fighting with. I was a notorious hothead and arguing was usually about the only way I knew how to communicate. John made me feel peaceful, though.

"So, what happened at the party last night? Did you thank Eve for giving you my address?" John gave me a sideways glance.

I nodded. I could have left it at that, but I didn't want to keep anything from John. It would probably get back to him, anyway, after Miz found out and the rumors started to spread.

"I fucked her. We were just fooling around and it didn't mean anything," I confessed.

John didn't say anything. It made me nervous and I started rambling, "I didn't know until after when she told me she was dating Mike. He sent Mark Henry after me and we got into it. I got outta there, but if you hear I'm in detention for beating the shit out of Miz at school tomorrow, that's why."

"Oh," John said, but that was it.

We walked into a park and John sat down on one of the swings. I sat on the swing next to him and watched him. His eyes just stared idly at the ground like he wasn't really concerned about anything. I asked him quietly, "Are you mad?"

"No. Why would I be mad? It's not like we're going out or anything," John said.

I felt like he had just kicked a brick into my chest. I stood up and yelled at him, "WHAT THE FUCK?! WE ARE GOING OUT, YOU ASSHOLE!"

John sneered at me and argued, "I'm not going out with someone who calls me an asshole, that's for sure."

I fumed at him. I wanted so badly to grab him and punch him in the face, but I couldn't, and he stared at me like he knew I wouldn't.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing, here? You think I just want to hang out with you and play fucking dolls or watch fucking TV all the time, huh? I'm going to FUCK you, John Cena, and there's nothing you can fucking do about it!"

The words sounded more erotic in my mind. John got up and countered angrily, "Are you threatening to rape me, Orton? 'cause I don't fucking play that game!"

He started to walk away, but I grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him back to face me. I screamed in his face, "I'm not going to rape you, I'm going to make you want it! I'm going to make you want me the same way that I want you!"

John scoffed like he was no more turned on by me than a cat to a dog. His expression made me furious and I spat, "What? You don't want me to touch you because you're sick? I'll find ways to do it with you, anyway! I'm not afraid of some fucking virus!"

I was trying to tell him that I still wanted him, but the words were coming out completely wrong. To him, I sounded like a foul mouthed, inconsiderate bastard.

"I'm going to walk away, now, and I ask that you don't follow me," he stated.

He backed off and I opened my mouth to argue, but I decided against it when I realized how big of a hole I was already in. He turned and walked away, and I didn't follow him, because that's what he asked me to do.

But I really wanted to.

* * *

When I went to school Monday morning, I knew that I would have hell to pay and no friends to fall back on. I also couldn't say a damn word to John, or I'd risk getting him sucked into the fan catching all the shit.

Miz ignored me on our first encounter and walked past like I wasn't even there. He glared at me in second hour, but other than that, I wasn't dead. Yet.

Mr. Foley's class came up faster than I expected. Miz was on my right side, and John was on my left. That whole "Rock and a hard place" phrase was really hitting home at that moment.

"...Mr. Orton?" Foley called on me.

I hadn't realized I was so deep in thought until he brought me out of it. I mentioned off the top of my head, "I dunno...uh...Mark Twain?"

Mr. Foley put his head to one side and asked, "Are you referring to the Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn?"

"Yes, sir," I still had no idea what I was agreeing to.

He laughed and answered, "I can see where you drew the idea from. Tom and Huck were two friends who embarked on adventures both together and separate that taught them influential adult lessons in their early teenage years."

"Yeah. Adult lessons. Right," I glanced at John.

"Do you have something to add, Mr. Orton?" Foley looked at me, confused.

I shrugged and said, "Well, what about that Prince and Pauper story?"

Mr. Foley thought about it and answered, "Yes, that would also be a story about educational lessons. The prince learned of the poor boy that looked like him and they switched places to learn about each other's lives."

"But what if the pauper really didn't have such a bad life? What if he was just swindling the prince into thinking that his life was bad so he could fool around in the prince's life for a while?" I argued.

Mr. Foley scoffed and replied, "You're obviously missing the point, Mr. Orton. The prince was treated so well his whole life, he knew nothing of what it meant to truly suffer. Whether the pauper persuaded the prince for selfish reasons or not is redundant, because the prince would have never known humility if he had never put himself in the shoes of his less fortunate twin."

I hadn't considered that. I was still thinking about it when Miz asked out loud, "Does anyone else think that Tom and Huck were totally gay with each other?"

"Mr. Mizanin, I believe that is a debate that we can't discuss here," Foley looked at him like he should know better.

The rest of the class was confused, but I wasn't, and I was pretty sure John wasn't, either.

I glared at Miz, but he didn't even bother to look my way. He got his message across loud and clear.

* * *

I ate in my car during lunch hour. I kind of hated cafeterias. All full of noisy people talking about mindless things while your enemies glared at you and your friends competed over who could sit the closest to you. It was also the place where jocks could totally humiliate the social rejects, and I didn't feel like tripping some dumb kid today.

Miz would take my absence as a sign I were avoiding him, but I didn't care about that, either. I was trying to think of a way to get John alone so I could apologize to him. If I weren't careful about it, Miz could throw it all back in my face.

I finished eating and headed to the South side of the school so I could take a piss before I looked for John. If there was anything I hated more than the cafeteria, it was the school restrooms. They were never clean, it always smelled like old pee and farts, and I could always hear the girls through the vent system gossiping about who the hottest guys in the world were. They mentioned Brad Pitt a lot. How the hell did that fat lipped douche become so popular? He left a chick and took her money in his breakout film. In fact, chicks died or got their hearts broken a lot in his films. Anyway...George Clooney is way hotter.

I took in a deep breath and held it as I opened the door. I knew I'd have to breathe again before I got out, but at least I could buy myself some time before the stench tried to kill my brain cells.

I glanced around to make sure the place was empty. I didn't like an audience. There were a pair of feet under the last stall, and I recognized John's shoes right away.

"John?" I asked, and the shoes made a shuffling noise like he had stood up quickly.

I heard him sniffle and opened the door, walking out of the stall like he weren't using it to relieve himself. His eyes avoided my gaze as he tried to bypass me to get out the door. I blocked his way when I saw that his cheeks were wet from tears and I asked, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing. Could you move aside, please?" John stated.

I closed the door behind me and locked it. John still wouldn't look at me, so I put my hands on his cheeks and forced him to lift his head. I looked into his baby blues and asked again, "What's wrong?"

He opened his mouth like he was going to tell me, but he hesitated and said instead, "Nothing. Can I go, please?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what I said, yesterday. I didn't mean it," I blurted.

He looked up at me and said solemnly, "Thank you. I appreciate that."

I thought that was all it would take for him to feel better, but he was still distraught. I doubted it would affect him as I asked him once more, "What's wrong?"

"I..." he started.

He wrestled with what he had to say before he finally spit it out, "The doctor gave me a new medicine the other day and it's not working. I'm pissing blood and I need to go to the hospital."

"Oh shit. I'll take you, I'll take you now," I turned around and unlocked the door.

I took John by the hand and led him to my car. He was quiet and I let him into the passenger's side, then I asked before I got in, "Should I get Alicia?"

"Yeah, she's in art class. She always works on her projects during lunch hour," he told me.

I took off running to the art classroom. I saw Alicia through the window even before I came around to get her. She knew something was wrong as soon as she saw the look on my face. She left her paint covered apron on and followed me quickly back to my car. I took off for the hospital, thinking I could call the school later if I needed to.

"John, what 'appened?" Alicia asked from the backseat.

"The new pills, they're not working," John answered, leaning against the door.

Alicia huffed and stated angrily, "I knew that shit was too intense! Shoulda let the doc talk to me! I coulda set 'im straight!"

"He probably would've stopped treating me," John let out a short chuckle.

"Yeah, well, he a shit for makin' you take that heavy shit!" Alicia argued.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Some stupid ass pill with a big ass name nobody can figure out!" Alicia retorted.

John sighed and told me more calmly, "It's an experimental drug. The doctor I've been seeing since I transferred here, he's into some of the new treatments and he's letting me try them."

"You mean he's been trying them on you to see what happens," I pointed out.

"Isn't that what all doctors do?" John brought up a point of his own.

"It's sick, John! Sick! I hate your new fuckin' doc! He don't know what he's doin'! He gonna kill you before yo' time!" Alicia contested.

He ignored her but I added, "Alicia's right, John. New treatments usually mean untested. He could be using you because he sees you as already dead."

"I can't do anything about it. No one else will take me," John said.

Alicia quickly corrected him, "That ain't true! Only reason you got him is 'cause the insurance don't want you getting nothin' too pricy! It's bullshit!"

I looked at John and asked, "Is that true? It's a money issue?"

"Don't get any ideas, Mr. Richie. I don't need your Doctors with Pricetags," John countered darkly.

Alicia had a different opinion, shouting, "What? If he wanna give up a lil' cash to get you a good doc, then what's the problem?"

"I don't want it, Alicia! It doesn't matter how much money gets put into my cause, I'm still going to die!" John argued.

She sat forward so he could see her and she screamed at him, "Just 'cause you gonna die don't mean you need shit treatment your last days o' livin'!"

"I agree with Alicia. We're not going to your doctor," I told John, slowing the car down so I could turn around.

"What? Randy, this is my choice! I said you take me to my doctor and you do it now!" John yelled.

"No. I'm taking you to a specialist, and you're gonna like it," I stated.

John huffed and folded his arms in protest. Alicia sat back and didn't complain the rest of the trip. I knew she agreed with me, but I doubted John would ever speak to me again after this.


	5. Religious Inspector

5: Religious Inspector

Alicia and I were made to stay in the waiting room until John was stabilized. I took the time to call the school and let them know we were not in attendance. Principal McMahon didn't think that was funny, but I sure as hell liked saying it to him. When he asked why, I gave the excuse that John was really sick and I had to take him to the hospital. By the end of our conversation, I was sure McMahon would be giving me some made up school award for going out of my way and being a hero to a fellow student. How worthy of me.

Alicia gave me the number of Dustin and Sable. It took a few times to get through to someone, but when Sable finally answered, I explained the situation in more detail and she promised to be there after Dustin got off work in the evening. I told her we'd stay until then, and Sable sounded like she was in tears as she asked, "Is he going to be all right?"

"Yes ma'am, I think so. I got him to the best," I said.

"Thank you, young man. Thank you so much," Sable said, choking back tears as she hung up.

Alicia paced the room while I sat patiently waiting for them to call us out to see Cena. I shot out a few texts to my friends so they knew I wasn't dead (a few of them were probably really hoping so), and I even sent a text to Miz:

NOT DEAD. EAT THAT BITCH.

I meant it to be more sarcastic than anything, but he probably wouldn't be taking it as lightly.

"What are you doin'?! Get off that phone!" Alicia tried to grab it from me.

I put my hands up in defeat so she'd back off, then I put my phone away and said, "Sorry. I just wanted people to know I didn't kidnap you and John is all."

"Liar! You just wanna text your friends so they know you alive!" Alicia had me pegged like no one else I had ever known.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and she shot me another death glare before returning to pacing like she was waiting to make a move for the kill.

"Damn, you're uptight," I said quietly, thinking Alicia wouldn't hear me.

She started for me and I was sure she would claw my face off, but the doctor came in at that moment and asked, "Are you here for Mr. John Cena?"

"Where is he?!" Alicia screamed before I could get a word in.

The doctor stared at her like she might be one of the patients destined for the hospital's mental ward. I stood behind Alicia and explained, "She's just a little on edge. John is her only family."

"Right. Well...this way," he said, still looking over the rim of his glasses to make sure Alicia wasn't going to try something while his back was turned.

The doctor explained while he walked, "We are going to keep John overnight for testing. We want to make sure that we haven't overlooked anything, as well as I am confident we can get him more customized help once we see the results of the tests."

"Are these painful tests? 'cause I don't play that!" Alicia stated.

"Uh...no...they're all wires and monitors, dear," the doctor gulped.

"Will John be okay to go back to school soon?" I asked.

The doctor nodded and answered, "Yes, yes, he should be fine to return to school in just a couple of days."

He stopped next to a brightly lit room in pristine condition with all updated accessories. Alicia's eyes widened as she took in the unexpected glory, then she saw John and shrieked, "What the fuck?!"

John was sitting up in a remote controlled bed. He looked like he was probably naked but his bottom half was covered by a white quilt. His upper half was covered in red patches that were wired to numerous monitors on his left side. Some of them were obvious, like a heart monitor machine, but some of them were even unknown to me.

The doctor glanced at me like he might need to ask Alicia to leave, but I thanked him and said, "I'll take care of it from here, sir. She's just not used to all the commotion."

"Right," he scoffed, shaking his head as he walked away.

Alicia was trying to grab at the wires to pull them off of John's chest as she argued with him, "You don't need all this shit! What the fuck are they tryin' ta do? Suck out yo' energy like you some kinda battery?!"

"No! The monitors are helping me, Alicia," John countered, trying to shoo her away.

He looked pale and tired and he was having trouble keeping Alicia off. I came over to his right side and took his hand, asking softly, "You all right?"

John smiled warmly at me like he was happy to see me and replied, "I am now."

"Do they got wires on your pecker, too?" Alicia suddenly lifted the blanket covering John's lower half.

I got the full view of his cock, which should have been a huge turn-on, but a tube was coming out of it that looked painful and freaky and I had to look away so I didn't spontaneously puke.

"Alicia, stop it!" John wretched the blanket from her and covered himself.

He glanced at me sheepishly, and I realized he had been anticipating me seeing him naked in a much more timely and erotic way. I gave him a short smile to let him know it didn't bother me, but I could see he was really bummed.

"What the fuck was that?! They got pipes up my Johnny's peckerwood? Oh no! Oh no, they di'n't!" Alicia made a beeline for the door.

John sighed with frustration and told her, "It's just a catheter, Leesh! It just helps 'em make sure I'm not pissing blood anymore!"

She ignored him and stormed out to find the doctor and kick his ass. John looked at me and pleaded, "Stop her before she gets us kicked outta this place."

I took off after Alicia and tracked her down as she took a quick left and entered another hallway. I could hear her banging on the doctor's door as she shouted, "Come on out an' face me, Docta Shit!"

"Alicia, Jesus!" I tried to grab her around the waist.

She elbowed me and sent me back against the wall. She was a much tougher chick than I anticipated.

Alicia kicked the door in an attempt to break it down and screamed through it to get some attention. I grabbed her while she were screaming and pulled her back against the opposite wall, telling her, "Stop it! John is going to lose his benefits here because of you!"

She stopped just as the door she was trying to kick down opened. I had to think fast, and all I could come up with was...

I mashed my lips against Alicia's so she wouldn't cry out and start screaming at the doctor. I pulled her into me and kissed her as passionately as I could while being rough enough not to let her freak out, again. She resisted me completely at first, then she wrapped her lips more securely around mine and put her arms around my neck like she was enjoying herself.

"Um...excuse me?" the doctor asked.

I pulled away from Alicia and acted like I had no clue what was the matter as I asked him, "Yeah?"

He seemed just as confused as he asked, "Were you...did you...try to knock down my door just now?"

I mocked disbelief and told him, "No way! We were just making out over here. I didn't see anyone knocking down your door."

"Oh. Right," he shook his head and quietly closed the door.

Alicia put her hand on my cheek and turned me back to face her. She had sparks in her eyes and her face was glowing as she smiled like she wanted to kiss me, again. I started to lean in, but just before my lips touched hers, I felt her hand collide with my face so hard, it spun me clear around and blurred my vision.

"Holy shit," I held my face in pain.

Alicia swung her hips from side-to-side as she stormed away from me, saying like a sassy diva, "Don't you ever touch me again unless I demand you to, lil' jocky white boy bitch!"

_Jesus, she hit hard._

* * *

Alicia was wound up tight the rest of the day. She hardly sat down for more than a few seconds before pacing around and arguing about everything. I pitied the nurses who had to come in and check on John. After a couple of hours, I was totally exhausted, but not John. He wasn't talking her down as easily as when I first met them, but his voice seemed to be the only one that influenced Alicia in the slightest. He was the only one keeping her from clawing through the walls and smashing the monitors, and I'm pretty sure he was the only reason she hadn't drowned the nurses in the bathroom.

I knew that her panic was for John. There were moments where he'd close his eyes for a second and I'd watch Alicia. She'd stare at him with tears in her own, her expression overwhelmed with pain. They were all each other had, and she knew that she would inevitably lose him like all the others. Sometimes the agony on her face was so strong, I wondered if she actually had the strength to survive without him.

"Come here, Leesh," John held out his arm to her at one point.

She climbed into bed with him and he put his arm around her. She stayed on his left side and rested her legs gently over his hips so she didn't disturb any patches as she put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes to sleep.

John stayed awake with me and we watched the little TV on the far wall in silence for a while. I toyed with John's right hand, twining his fingers with mine and stroking the outside of his palm with my fingernails. He'd hum from time to time like he enjoyed my touch, then he asked me thickly, "Tell me what you did with Eve. Describe it to me."

I half-smiled because I thought John was joking, but his expression was serious. I tried to think of a good way to demonstrate on him, and when I saw his hand in mine, I got an idea.

"Well, Eve took off her panties and got into bed. I took off my shirt and got in with her, and she spread her legs for me..."

I opened John's index and forefinger with my own to symbolize what I saw that night. He let out a quiet chuckle so as not to wake Alicia and I continued, "I propped her up on her hips. Girls I've been with, they say getting it at an angle kinda helps, so..."

I arched his wrist back and spread his palm open and upward. I drifted over the inside of his palm with my index and forefinger as I described, "I parted the lips with my tongue, and teased that little seed right inside."

I drifted over the center of his palm with my index finger and John let out a light groan like my demonstration were exciting him. I glanced at him and I noticed he looked like he might be in some pain. I asked him, "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Go on," he told me.

I trailed down his palm and along the inside of his wrist and forearm as I went on, "I was thinkin' about you and I got hard. She said she wanted me to fuck her, but I didn't have a condom, so she let me put it in her ass."

John's eyes widened with surprise as he asked curiously, "Did she like that?"

I put my head down so his palm was against my cheek as I answered passively, "She sure sounded like she liked it."

John let out a wry smile and his face flushed with embarrassment. I liked teasing him and telling him my secrets, so I kept going, "I don't know how other guys are about it, but I consider myself skilled in the art of the backside."

He struggled not to laugh too hard and I added, "It's always really tight back there, so I just took it slow; steady..."

I locked eyes with John and he stared back at me humbly, like he had wanted it so bad for so long and he had finally found the right guy to give it to him.

Then his face twisted into one of fear and pain.

"John? John, what's wrong?" I asked, panicking.

I stood up and leaned in to help him as John explained, "My crotch...I...erection...catheter is killing me..."

I lifted up the quilt and realized that John's catheter was causing internal pain to his hard-on. Alicia was starting to wake up as I glanced around for something to help John.

"What's goin' on?" she asked groggily.

"John's having some trouble. We need to get the swelling down," I told her.

"What swelling?" Alicia asked, glancing down.

She saw what I was talking about and moved off of the bed to give John more breathing room. She looked at him and asked, "Should I get the nurse?"

"No!" John cried.

His intensity startled Alicia and she looked at me for answers. I grabbed the pitcher of ice water from the bedside table and poured some on John's crotch. His erection went down fast, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he went back to normal.

"What the fuck were you two doin'?" Alicia glared at me, knowing I had to be the cause.

"Could we not do this? It's embarrassing," John grumbled sheepishly.

I heard Dustin's voice from just down the hall, so I quickly covered John's lower half with the quilt and put the pitcher down. They didn't suspect a thing as they came in with the doctor and talked about John's testing. Per my request, the doctor told Dustin and Sable that John's treatment would be billed to a company that helps teenagers with HIV. I didn't want them to know that I was taking care of all the bills. I also didn't want it to get back to my father. He'd tell me John wasn't my responsibility, and I didn't want to hear any lectures.

Visiting hours were almost over and Dustin and Sable were ready to leave. The baby was fast asleep in Sable's arms, unaware of what was going on around her. I assumed Alicia would go with them, but when they asked her, she stated firmly, "I'm goin' on home with Randy. He's gettin' up early tomorrow to see John and I wanna go with him."

They looked back at me for confirmation. I just nodded and answered, "I'm usually up at 4 in the morning. I have a guest room Alicia can stay the night in."

Dustin nodded the okay but Sable seemed unsure. She asked Alicia, "Would you help me get the baby into the car?"

The three of them left, but I stayed back with John. He tugged on the sleeve of my t-shirt and I turned to face him as he told me, "Alicia is going to wanna have sex with you."

I snorted laughter, telling him, "She doesn't want me to fuck her! I just kissed her in the hallway to get her outta trouble and she slapped me so hard, she almost knocked my teeth out!"

"Just listen to me," John started, explaining quickly, "Alicia's not looking for love and affection. She's had relationships with guys in the past and they messed her all up inside and out."

I swallowed hard as John went on, "Before I got sick, she'd just come to me when she needed some release. She's been wound up so tight for way too long, and she need to get some of this out or I think she might do something really crazy."

I nodded that I understood and John told me, "Look, you don't have to if you don't want to. She gets really angry and foreplay is pretty frustrating. She'll probably diss your house and eat your food and make fun of you for a while. Just let her do what she wants and agree with everything she says. Make her feel like she's the boss and she's being heard. She might ask you to do weird things like take off your clothes facing away from her, or she might hit the lights and tell you to just face the wall for a while. She might even tie you up, but the knots aren't strong. Just don't fight her."

John lowered his gaze and explained thickly, "She probably won't let you see her naked. She has a lot of scar tissue."

I decided to save my questions for when we had more time. I nodded and John looked up at me with pleading eyes as he said, "I'm okay with you doing this. In fact, I want you to. She's scared everyone else away, and you're the only one she's even considered since I couldn't be with her anymore because she knows that I trust you and she thinks she can trust you, too. If you do this for her, you can do whatever you want to me."

There wasn't a response good enough to match the need in John's eyes. I nodded my head and told him, "I'll do my best for her. I promise you, I will."

I could hear Alicia and Sable in the hallway. John grabbed my hand and squeezed it goodbye, telling me again, "Don't fight her, please."

He seemed so sure that I would. I told him assuredly, "She's the boss. No questions asked."

* * *

John's words echoed through my mind as I drove Alicia back to my house. It became clear within the first three minutes of her being there what he was talking about when he told me not to fight her.

She nit picked everything. She scoffed at the lighting. She snorted at the carpeting. She grabbed the giant bowl of grapes out of the fridge that Mom had put in to preserve until her party on Saturday. I made a mental note to buy more before Mom noticed.

Alicia argued with me all the way up the stairs. She thought my house was too big. She thought the bathrooms were too exciting. She thought my television was ridiculously huge. She even scoffed at my remote as I used it to change the channels, remarking snidely, "It's like you're tryin' to overcompensate for somethin'."

I ignored her and let her watch whatever show she wanted. She settled on an annoying dating game show marathon, and after three hours of her cackling loudly at every underhanded comment of the dissatisfied couples, I was on the edge of enough.

"Why don't we hit the sack, huh? We're supposed to be up in a few hours," I pointed out, trying not to be too obvious.

Alicia turned to face me and yelled, "You go on to yo' sweet dreams! Gimme the remote!"

She reached out for it and I gently tossed it to her. She moved aside and shrieked like I had practically tried to pitch it to her at a hundred miles an hour. I rolled my eyes and felt a clump of Alicia's grapes of wrath smack me in the face.

That pissed me off and I stormed out of bed and over to the remote. Alicia was mad until she saw me coming, then she tossed the bowl of grapes out of her lap and put her hands up to shield her face and neck as she shied away from me like I was going to beat the life out of her.

I realized my mistake as John's words came back to me, _"Don't fight her."_

It became clear to me that he meant more than just listening to petty arguments and ignoring childish tantrums. Alicia had been abused. Badly. It showed, if only for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to hand the remote to you," I placed the remote quietly beside her and walked slowly back to the bed.

It took her almost a minute to put her hands back down and face me, again. Her expression was like stone, as if I meant no more to her than anyone else in the world. She stated coldly, "Take yo' clothes off and lye face down on da bed."

"Do you want me to put a condom on before I lye down?" I asked softly.

"Fuck you! I'll do dat! I don' need you puttin' it on wrong an' makin' me all pregnan' witch yo' white bitch baby!" she yelled.

I sighed as I remembered John's words and did as I was told. Alicia's eyes watched me closely as I removed my clothes and slowly got into bed, thinking sudden movements were about as smart as poking a bear at this point. I lay down on my stomach and waited for Alicia to come over to me, but she turned back to face the TV and didn't get up for almost another hour, and I was beginning to think that she was just messing with me.

She got up and quietly made her way over to the side of the bed. She pulled out the top drawer where I kept my lube and condoms and took her time choosing a color, but pulled out the bottle of lube like she knew exactly which one she wanted. She told me strictly, "Turn over and close yo' eyes."

I did as she said. Closing my eyes was a big risk, but I took it, thinking she probably wouldn't try to hurt me or chop anything off for fear of upsetting John. I could hear her undressing and I was tempted to take a peek, but I thought against it when I remembered how vicious Alicia could be.

She climbed into bed on her knees and I heard her working with the condom and lube. She slipped the condom on faster and better than I ever could and rubbed just the right amount of lube on. I admired her perfect preparation and opened my eyes to tell her.

She slapped her hands over my eyes before I really saw anything and hissed at me, "Don't you dare look at me! Don't you dare open yo' eyes until I tell ya, or I'll scratch 'em out!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," I told her.

She slowly took her hands away, and I didn't feel her straddle me for a good five minutes. Her body was tense as she drifted her hands over my chest and across my abs, teasing me with her fingernails. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to respond or not, so I let out a little hum, and when she didn't try to claw me to pieces, I figured it were safe to make noise once in a while.

Alicia began massaging the muscles of my chest and shoulders, smoothing out the kinks that were still leftover from the game last Friday. She was amazingly skilled with her hands, like she knew just the right amount of pressure to use and which places needed it most. It only took a couple of minutes for me to feel totally relaxed with her.

"My brotha Jeff, he used to get his ass beat a lot at school," she started.

I kept my eyes closed and silently listened as she went on, "He was never afraid o' no bullies. He'd laugh at 'em. But den they target John, an' Jeff got mad."

"What happened?" I asked her quietly.

"Jeff try to get da bullies off John. They say they keep on 'im unless Jeff do favors for 'em on da weekends. Jeff sell drugs, clean crack houses, do all da dirty work, an' never tell John. My Johnny knew somethin' was up, but you don' ask no questions when Jeff don't want ya knowin' da answers. Frankie, he was da boss. Frankie don't want mo drugs or clean crack. He want Jeff's ass. He think he own Jeff. Frankie's da reason Jeff get sick. Da reason Jeff make John sick."

"Where is Frankie?" I asked intently, opening my eyes.

Alicia was illuminated by the light of the TV. She had orange sized breasts, gorgeous curves, and scars both deep and light that trailed across most of her dark skin like dozens of pink colored snakes threatening to consume what was left of her beauty.

"Frankie wen' back to Africa, where he come from. He a gun peddler there. He tell the gang of bullies here to go af'er Jeff an' John. He think John is dead. I hate to know dat he's still right, even tho' John weren't killed by no bullets."

"Why would they kill everyone?" I asked.

"'cause everyone afraid to tell 'em not to do no wrong," Alicia answered.

I couldn't understand. I had been taught for as long as I could remember the difference between right and wrong, and murder was considered the worst offense, at least in my world.

"Roll over. I wanna be under you," Alicia stated.

I did as I was told and leaned in to kiss her. Alicia hesitated at first, then let me take her lips with my own. I tried to be soft and slow with my mouth while my hands drifted down to touch her hips. She grabbed me by my wrists as soon as I attempted to touch her skin and she held me off, telling me angrily, "Don' chew touch me!"

"Sorry, sorry," I told her, putting my hands back down against the comforter.

She stared deeply into my eyes, searching for a sign of doubt or disgust. When she couldn't find any, she asked me harshly, "Why you look at me like dat?"

"Like what?" I asked, confused.

"Like you don' see nothin' wrong with a cut up black bitch," she argued.

"Do you want me to see something wrong with you?" I asked, not sure how else to respond.

She glared at me and asked suspiciously, "Did John tell ya 'bout my cuts? Did ya already know an' ya had time to judge me 'fore you saw it?"

"What? No! I mean...yes, he said something about you having scar tissue, but I had no idea what he meant and I didn't judge you then and I'm not judging you now," I told her honestly.

She just stared right through me like she was expecting me to react a certain way and it would come out at any second. I stayed where I was until she burned herself out and calmed down a bit.

"How do you want it? Hard and fast? Slow and steady? Hard and steady? Slow and fast?" I gave her some options.

Alicia still seemed unsure about me as she answered quietly, "Hard...and fast."

I nodded and told her sternly, "Alright, but if you feel uncomfortable, or you want me to slow down, or you want to stop altogether, you just tell me, you got it?"

"Yeah," she said, but I asked again to make sure she really heard me, "Got it?"

She nodded strongly and I replied, "Sounds good. Can I touch you, now?"

Alicia blinked with surprise and answered like she had wanted me to all along, "Yeah. Yeah, please."


	6. Divine State of Mind

6: Divine State of Mind

Alicia tasted like raspberries.

She felt soft. Even her scars were like a smoothed over design in her skin.

I found myself enjoying being with her. I thought it would just be over after the first time. I rolled away from her to give her space, but she came back to me after a few minutes, and we went, again.

She was tight inside, leading me to believe that she probably hadn't been with more than a few guys. I couldn't help wondering what it would've looked like when she was with John. Picturing the two of them together made it easier for me to get hard.

After the second time, Alicia acted like she was over me. She shoved me off and went straight to the bathroom like I was so boring, she had to take a piss just to get away from me. I watched TV until she came back. She pounced on me before I could say a word, and we went at it one more time.

She had this way of moaning-it was like she was singing when she came. She also had a knack for biting my fingers and pulling my hair when I least expected. It hurt like hell, but she did it when I was feeling too good to stop and yell at her.

Alicia curled up in the fetal position and slept with her back to me, but she pulled my left arm over her body and secured it between her thighs, like she was afraid to be completely naked and exposed, and as long as my hand shielded her bottom half, she felt secure enough.

We spent so much time fooling around, we only had a couple hours to sleep. I woke up at 4AM like always, but I assumed Alicia would be harder to get out of bed. I gently shook her and whispered, "Alicia? Alicia?"

She groaned but didn't open her eyes. I added quietly, "Time to get up and go see John."

Alicia sat up like she had been awake the whole time. She followed me into the shower, but whatever persuaded her to want me hours earlier had left her, and it was all business until we reached the hospital.

"John!" Alicia rushed to him with open arms as soon as we reached his room.

He hugged her and didn't let go for a long time. I almost felt like the third wheel, awkwardly waiting for the chance to be included. When they finally parted ways, I noticed Alicia was practically glowing.

"Did you get some sleep?" John glanced at us both.

"A few hours," I lied.

Alicia changed the subject and asked, "When you getting out?"

"This afternoon. Dustin is picking me up about 2," John answered.

Alicia looked at me and said, "I'm stayin' here."

"Then I will, too," I added.

John sighed and told us both, "You two need to be in school. Besides, I just wanna sleep until it's time to go."

Alicia stood her ground, arguing, "No, I wanna be here to help."

John locked eyes with Alicia and told her, "You need to go with Randy."

She made a frustrated sigh, but didn't counter John. He asked her more kindly, "Could you go to the cafeteria and get me something to eat? I'm starving."

Alicia breezed past me like I wasn't even there. I came over to John and he tugged on my shirt, lowering me into a kiss. We didn't hold it long, but it still made my day to feel his lips touching mine, again. When I pulled away, he asked me, "How did it go?"

"She's a ball of fire, that's for sure," I glanced back at the door to make sure she wasn't standing there with folded arms, waiting to claw my eyes out for talking smack about her.

"You didn't fight her, though, did you?" John asked anxiously.

I shook my head and he breathed a huge sigh of relief. I turned my head to one side and asked him thickly, "You need to know more details?"

I was hoping he'd ask me to give him the rundown like I had before, but he reminded me, "Maybe later. I still have the catheter in."

"Oh, right," I lifted the quilt to check on it.

John quickly pulled the quilt out of my hands and covered himself, blushing sheepishly. I gave his left cheek a quick peck and asked him, "So, can you come over to my house, tonight?"

His eyes widened and he looked at me like I had asked him to jump out the window. Our deal from the night before popped in my mind and I realized he thought I was asking to do more than just hang out.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. If you're not ready, I don't want to force you. I just thought we could play video games or something," I explained.

John smiled a little and answered, "Right. Video games. Sounds cool. I'll see what Dustin says, but he might want me to stay home to make sure I'm not still having trouble."

"Well, in that case, ask him if I can come over to your place. I have something I want to show you," I said.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do," John replied.

We were silent for a minute, then John asked softly, "Did you, uh...make sure Alicia enjoyed herself?"

I answered easily, "Absolutely. I made sure she was very satisfied all three times."

"THREE TIMES?!" John shouted, just as Alicia came into the doorway with a tray of food.

She stopped dead in her tracks and set her devastating glare on me. I tried to save face by blurting at John, "Of course, that's how many times he won the championship! Everyone knows that!"

It was a dumb move, and Alicia didn't buy it. John and I were stunned silent as she brought the tray of food to John's bedside table, set it down, and walked out of the room without a word.

"Fuck me," I put my hand over my face.

"Don't blame yourself. It was my fault for shouting it like an asshole," John pointed out.

* * *

Alicia kept her arms folded and her eyes focused out the window the entire ride to school. I knew I was in deep shit as I said, "I'm sorry."

"For what? Tellin' the boy you wanna fuck how much you fuck me?" she shot back.

"It wasn't like that. He was just asking if I treated you right and I was telling him that I did," I remarked.

"Did what? Climb on top o' me an' swung yo' hips like some damn baboon with a snow white ass?" Alicia took another shot at me.

Insulting me was one thing, but insulting my skills in the sack? She had gone too far.

"What's that supposed to mean, huh? My ass is tanned, just like the rest of me, and I don't swing my hips! I use the perfect balance of bumping and grinding! There are girls at school who are so turned on by the mere rumors about how good I am, they're willing to stand in line to let me pop their virgin cherries!"

"Yeah? Well, they be disappointed!" Alicia yelled.

I was so furious, I countered without thinking, "It doesn't fucking matter what you or anyone else thinks! All I care about is how good John thinks I am!"

Alicia blinked with surprise and quickly looked away. I had no idea what she was thinking as I parked in front of the school and told her before I got out, "I didn't mean to tell him we did it three times, but I liked the way he reacted. I'll tell him whatever I damn well please, as long as it makes him want to let me in."

I slammed the door without waiting for her to respond.

* * *

For the rest of the day, no one else existed. I had practice after school, and I knew Miz would be on my case, but I was going to otherwise ignore him.

"Don't touch my ass, Randy," he taunted me on the field.

"Why? You want me to?" I asked darkly.

Mark Henry was nearby, and he glanced at us with confusion. Miz continued to taunt me, "You'd like my ass, I think. It's soft and round, like a baby's bottom. Is that what his ass looks like, too? A baby's bottom?"

"Shut the fuck up," I slammed into Miz as soon as Coach Hart blew the whistle for defense drills.

Miz didn't go down, but I had him stumbling, and he gave up taunting me to focus for a while. He started back in on me at the end of practice when we had to run the field for a few laps.

"I'd call you an asshole, but I think you'd like that," Miz hissed at me.

"If you want me so bad, why don't you just say it," I shot right back.

Miz shook his head at me and stated, "I don't have a problem with gays, I really don't, but you fuck the asses of dudes and chicks, and that's just wrong."

"I fucked your chick in the ass because she wanted it, and I'll bet you're bent outta shape because she never asked YOU for it," I stated.

Miz tackled me and we both hit the ground. Henry pulled Miz off of me before he could get a punch in and shoved him back in line. Henry pulled me to my feet and told us both, "If Coach Hart sees you messin' around, he'll bench you both next game."

A silent truce was called for the rest of practice. When I got back to the locker room, I decided to pack up and leave without hitting the showers. Miz glared at me as I left, almost like he was hoping I would stick around. I waited until I got back to my car to open my bag, and once I looked inside, I knew exactly why Miz wanted me to stay.

He had put a box of extra small condoms next to a huge bottle of lube in the middle of my bag. I also noticed a banana off to one side and what looked like a spiked dog collar. Miz had probably set it up to fall out if I had opened my bag in the locker room.

_Asshole. _

I was so pissed off, I whipped out my phone and called Eve on her cell. I hadn't really thought out what I wanted to say to her as she answered softly, "Randy?"

"What the fuck is going on, Eve?" I started in on her.

"What do you mean?" her voice sounded on the verge of collapse.

I couldn't stand to hear chicks cry, so I tried to stay calm as I asked, "What exactly did you say to Miz about us?"

"I, um..." she trailed off.

"Look, I'm not blaming you, alright? I just think he's going way overboard with this when he knows it was just a one-time thing," I said.

"I broke up with him," Eve confessed.

"...oh," I suddenly felt ten shades of stupid.

Eve rushed to explain, "It wasn't because of you, but he was still mad about that when I told him I had a crush on someone else and I wanted to break up. He got kind of crazy when I told him who I had a crush on, and he hit me."

"He what?" I said angrily.

"I'm okay. He didn't hit me hard," she tried to play it off.

"He has no fucking right, Eve, no fucking right," I had half a mind to walk back to the locker room and hit him, myself.

Eve sighed through the phone and told me, "I know, I know. I guess he was just mad because John Cena isn't from around here."

"John Cena?" I became confused.

Eve strained to keep her composure as she proclaimed, "I have a crush on John Cena! Please don't tell him, okay?"

"Um...sure," I mumbled in complete shock.

"Are you mad now, too? I mean, I know he's a transfer and all, but I'd like to get to know him before judging him," Eve said.

"Yeah, yeah...good idea..." I had no clue what to say to her.

* * *

As soon as I got home, I just lay down and watched TV, thinking John would be calling me any second. There was nothing good on, so I kept flipping channels until I landed on porn. It was kinda cliché of me, but I was a hormonal teenager, after all.

I must've closed my eyes at some point, because my cell phone started ringing and it woke me out of a dead sleep. I picked it up and asked groggily, "Hello?"

"I'm at your gate. Sorry I didn't call sooner, but I figured you were probably waiting for me," John said.

"Oh, yeah, I'll be right outside," I hurried to get to my feet.

I didn't bother to check the TV or turn it off as I hung up my phone and rushed out of the room to get John. He was waiting patiently at the gate as I plugged in the numbers to open it for him. As soon as he stepped inside, he gave me a sideways glance and asked, "Were you sleeping?"

"Why do you say that?" I returned.

He pointed at my head and mentioned, "Your hair is sticking up on one side."

"Oh," I ran my fingers through my hair to put it back down.

"Let me help," he said, putting his hands on my scalp.

His touch felt warm and soothing as he ran his fingertips through my hair to settle it down. I closed my eyes to enjoy myself, wishing he would take his time on me.

"Done," he pulled away what felt like too soon.

"Thanks," I mumbled sadly.

John followed me back to the house and upstairs to my room. As soon as I opened the door, some naked chick on TV moaned loud enough to echo down the hallway, and John's eyes went right to the screen in shock.

"Sorry," I jogged over to the bed to get the remote.

"You can leave it on," John blurted.

"Really?" I lifted a curious brow.

He shrugged and replied, "It doesn't bother me."

I left it on, but turned the sound way down so I could listen to John. We both sat down on the end of the bed and watched some porn for a while, then John mentioned, "You said you wanted to show me something?"

"Oh yeah," I stood up to get it.

I took the box off of my desk and brought it back to John. I set it in his lap and told him, "It's actually for me, but I thought you might wanna check it out."

He gave me a curious glance as he started lifting the flaps. He opened the box completely and peeked inside, and I waited for him to gasp with surprise, but he didn't.

"What do you think?" I asked him about the blue colored strap-on Kelly had let me take.

"It's uh...interesting," John answered, continuing to just stare at it.

"You can take it out and look at it, if you want. It's not used or anything," I encouraged him.

He stared at it a moment longer before getting brave enough to pull it out. John inspected the blue shaft and tugged on the harness, then turned it around and around in his hands, but his expression didn't show the least bit of excitement.

"You don't like it," I stated morosely.

John shook his head and told me, "It's not that, it's just..."

He tossed the strap-on back in the box and said seriously, "I want more than anything to just feel _you_, not you inside of some solid blue plastic."

John looked away and I could tell he was agonizing over the fact that we could never be like a normal couple. I waited until he turned to face me again, then I said thickly, "If I have to use a few props to be with you, I'm not complaining."

He swallowed hard and asked me softly, "Would it be weird if I told you I love you right now?"

I mocked a disgusted face and told him jokingly, "That is weird. Get outta my house."

He laughed out loud and I put my arm around him. We both watched the threesome on TV as I replied quietly, "I'll be weird and tell you that I love you right now, too."

"Are you just saying that to get in my pants?" John teased.

"Maybe," I replied with a shrug.


	7. The Host with the Most

7: The Host with the Most

John and I made out for a couple of hours. He started to pull away as soon as it got late and told me, "I should be on my way."

"I want you to stay. Please?" I tugged on his t-shirt to guide him back to me.

He lay back down, but warned me, "I really should go home. Your parents don't even know I'm here, and Alicia-"

"Who cares about my parents? They aren't worried, as long as we don't set the house on fire or something," I countered.

John rolled his eyes at me and I told him, "They're not worried about what we're doing up here. My parents aren't the kind who snoop around my room and show concern for whom I hang out with."

"Yeah, but what about whom you sleep with?" John pointed out.

I replied with a shrug, "Don't matter, as long as I'm not getting some chick pregnant or blowing some diseased hobo."

"A diseased hobo? Really?" John shook his head at me.

I remarked dryly, "You never know what a rich, horny teenage boy is capable of."

He laughed and I rolled over on top of him so I could take a good look at him. John tensed up a little bit like he wasn't sure what I was doing at first, then he relaxed when he realized I wasn't trying to surprise him.

"Why do you get so wound up when I come near you? You act like I'm gonna handcuff you to something and beat you with a cane stick," I joked.

"Sorry, it's just instinctive to keep my guard up," John said.

I swallowed hard and asked him, "Tell me about you and Jeff. What did he do that made you feel safe?"

"I dunno, he didn't really do anything, he was just...always there when I needed him," John answered.

"Did he touch you a certain way? Was he a good kisser? Did he have a huge package?" I searched for clues in John's eyes.

He chuckled and replied, "He was a good kisser. Decent package, but not huge. His hands were kinda small, but he had a strong grip when he touched me, like he wanted me to know he was real."

I knew I was asking a lot even as I said the words, "Tell me what the sex was like."

John's face flushed and he looked away as he told me quietly, "It was good. Intense. Jeff had a lot of...energy."

I half-smiled and asked, "So he was kinky?"

John shook his head and told me, "Not really. I mean, he was a daredevil most of the time, but not so much with me. He could be rough, sometimes, though."

"Rough? As in sadism?" My eyes went wide.

"No, not quite that extreme," John chuckled.

I frowned and asked, "Well then, like what?"

"Like, sometimes he'd hold me down and be kinda hard on me, but it was usually only when he was really frustrated about shit, and if it got to be too much, I'd just tell him to tone it down and he would."

John focused on another part of the room and it made me wonder if he was telling me the whole truth. I asked him softly, "Was there a time when he didn't let up?"

"I don't wanna talk about him, anymore. I should go," John tried to move out from underneath me.

"No, come on! I'm sorry, I won't ask anymore questions, just stay! Please!" I argued with him.

John stopped at the edge of the bed and sat there for a good two minutes in silence, deliberating whether he should leave or not. I waited anxiously until he turned to me and said, "If I stay, you're not gonna try anything on me."

"I won't, I promise," I put up my hands in defeat.

"I mean it, Randy. I don't want you groping me and acting like you were just moving in your sleep," he warned me.

"What are you talking about? Why would I do that?" I asked him defensively.

He stared at me with a mixed expression, and I got the idea that he was warning me because it had been done to him before, and he intended for it to never happen, again.

"I won't do that to you. I won't," I told him, honestly.

John watched me for a minute longer, then he asked quietly, "Would you do something for me?"

"Anything," I answered immediately.

John remained straight faced as he stated, "You got to see me naked at the hospital. Now, I wanna see you."

"Kay," I sat up straighter, waiting a few seconds to make sure he was serious before I got started.

I slowly removed my t-shirt and tossed it on the floor. John had seen me shirtless before in gym, but he still focused on my muscular chest like it appealed to him. I sat up on my knees so I could work on my jeans more easily, taking some extra time getting them open in hopes that it would make the big reveal more exciting to John. I slowly pushed my jeans and boxers down, then sat back so I could get them off as I tossed them to the floor, as well.

The moments leading up to getting naked were way more exciting than actually being exposed in all your glory. I sat back against my headboard and let John stare at me for as long as he wanted to. It was kind of awkward, not knowing what he was thinking as his expression stayed like stone. After a solid five minutes of silence, I was beginning to think I had offended him.

"If I turn you off, you can just say it," I tried to break the tension between us.

"It's not that, I..." John's voice broke and he turned away.

"What do you want from me, John? I don't know what else to do," I was starting to get frustrated.

John turned to face me again and stated, "I wanna see you jack yourself off."

I blinked with surprise and asked, "What?"

"I'm not making any sense, just forget it. I need to go," John started to leave, again.

"No, wait! I'll do it!" I told him.

He stopped and turned to face me with somber eyes, like he felt guilty for even asking. I sat up on my knees again and spit into my hand, then I grabbed my shaft and started stroking myself into a full erection.

John stayed where he was and watched me with a frozen expression, like he hadn't expected me to actually do it. I groaned and drew my thumb over the head of my cock, releasing a bit of pre-cum that made the whole thing seem that much more arousing. John took a step toward me and I did it, again, groaning more loudly the second time for his benefit.

He took another step toward me and I closed my eyes, thinking that he'd come even closer if I weren't focusing on him. I stroked myself for a few seconds, but not being able to look at John frustrated me, and I just had to open my eyes, again.

John was sitting on his knees in front of me. He startled me and I let go of myself as I fell back onto the bed. I was going to get right back up, but John suddenly dipped his head down and licked the head of my cock.

I moaned with surprise and he did it again, swallowing the drops of pre-cum like he favored the taste. He licked the underside of my shaft, and I cried out with a mix of shock and surprise as I braced myself for release.

John put his finger in his mouth and I had no clue what he was going to do. He pulled it out all thick with saliva and eased it into my backside, curling his finger inside so he could tease my prostate.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back onto the pillows, arching my back so I could get the best angle over John's finger. He licked and teased, licked and teased until I was on the verge of climax.

Then, he abruptly pulled his finger out and stopped touching me, altogether.

I opened my eyes and asked him, "What's wrong?"

"Turn over," he said.

"Why?" I asked, totally confused.

"Just do it," he told me, so I did.

I tried to look back at him, but John ordered me, "Close your eyes and don't open them unless I say."

"Okay," I said, feeling a little frustrated.

My erection was painfully in need of release, and John's constant need to switch gears was quickly becoming a buzzkill. I waited with my eyes obediently closed, relying on my ears to tell me what John had planned. I heard him climb off the bed, then I heard some shuffling. I heard a ripping sound like velcro, then I heard a squishing sound, followed by John climb back onto the bed.

"Tell me if it feels good," he said, then I felt something cold and hard pushing into my backside.

"What are-" I turned my head to one side to see what he was doing.

John had taken his clothes off, put the strap-on over his own erection, and lubed it all up for me. He was already mostly inside as he asked, "How does it feel?"

"It's fucking cold," I stated.

"So, it's no good?" John asked curiously.

"It's not bad, it's just...weird," I surmised.

He started thrusting and asked, "How's that?"

"I dunno, it's...how come I'm not doing this to you?" I argued.

"Because I want to try it out on you, first. How does it feel?" John asked me once more.

"It's weird, I told you," I countered.

"You want me to stop, then?" he asked, sounding disappointed.

"No, keep going," I said, bringing my knees up so I could adjust myself more to the feeling.

It was interesting, to say the least. I had wanted so badly to be the one to open up John, but ironically, he had taken the strap-on I intended to use on him and he turned it on me for the first strike. It took a few minutes for me to get used to it enough that I could enjoy the idea of John fucking me, and once I realized that, I was more than happy to relax and let him take over.

"Don't pull out so hard, it hurts with the strap-on," I told him.

John moved a little slower coming out the next time and it created the perfect amount of friction. He kissed the back of my neck and moaned like he was getting ready to cum. I tightened my cheeks a little to make it harder for him to push in, and he groaned with satisfaction as he released into the inside of the strap-on.

The plastic dildo was still hard, so John kept thrusting a minute longer until I was able to cum. It was one of the best orgasms of my life, and I collapsed against the blankets as John slowly pulled out and took off the device. He went to the bathroom and returned a few minutes later looking like he had taken a quick shower and rinsed off the strap-on. He put at aside and climbed back into bed with me. I rolled over so I could kiss him, then I asked, "Why did you do all that?"

"Because you weren't expecting it," he smiled.


	8. Beating Around the Bush

8: Beating Around the Bush

I woke up the next morning with John asleep on top of me. I closed my eyes and listened to him breathing for a few minutes, then I opened them again and glanced at the clock.

It was after 7. I was surprised because I always woke up at 4AM. I didn't really want to wake up John, but I remembered he had to take his meds twice a day, so I nudged him and whispered, "John? John, it's after seven."

His eyes shot open and he sat up in bed, asking quickly, "What?"

"It's okay, it's Saturday," I chuckled, thinking he was just worried it might be a school day.

"I have to go. Alicia is probably waiting for me," John started to get out of bed.

"Wait! Don't go," I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck.

He slowed down, but I could still feel him resisting me as he said, "I really need to go. I have things to do."

"Well, at least take a shower with me. There'll be breakfast downstairs and you can grab some before you leave," I enticed him.

John let out a long sigh and told me, "That sounds nice, but what about your parents?"

"What about them? I'll introduce you," I replied.

John turned his head to look back at me as he smiled and asked, "Are you going to introduce me as your friend, or as your boyfriend?"

He didn't sound like he cared one way or the other. I told him honestly, "I'll introduce you any way I want, and there's nothing they can do about it."

He looked away and remarked morosely, "Maybe you should just say I'm your friend. That'll save you the trouble of having to tell them I could make you sick."

John got away from me and went over to my dresser to grab his bag. He unzipped it and pulled out a giant-size seven day pill distributor and opened the Saturday tab. He dumped what looked like a dozen or more pills out and took a glass of water from the bedside table to swallow them down. I slowly got up and went over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist again while I watched him take back each pill one-by-one. He swallowed them as simply as a pro, like he had done it so many times, it didn't phase him, anymore.

"I don't think of you that way, and they shouldn't, either," I whispered into John's ear when he was finished.

He looked back at me and argued, "It's not a moral suggestion, Randy, it's a cold hard fact, and your parents have the right to know about it."

I shot back defensively, "What do you want me to say? You know they won't let me see you if I tell them about it! They'll probably go to the school board and get you transferred! You really want that to happen?"

"It wouldn't be the first time," John mumbled.

I blinked with surprise. He hadn't mentioned any issues like that, before. I quickly regrouped and argued, "It doesn't even matter. You won't let me touch you, anyway."

"You know why it's not easy for me," John started.

I put my hands up in defeat and stated, "You know what? I really don't. I've already told you that I'm not worried, but that doesn't seem to be enough for you, so if you just want to say cryptic and freaky stuff about what you go through so I'll be repelled, then guess what? I'm still not freaked out, but I know when to take a hint!"

I roughly pulled open the drawers of my dresser and grabbed a pair of pants and a t-shirt. John asked quietly, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to take a goddamn shower! You'd probably better leave now because I'll be thinking of putting it in your tight ass while I jerk myself off in there!" I countered angrily.

John didn't argue as I stormed out and went straight to the bathroom. I threw my clothes down next to the sink and stepped into the shower as soon as possible.

Something about fighting with John made my hormones go crazy. It seemed like, the more furious I was with him, the more turned on I was by him, and I was hard even before I stepped underneath the warm water of the shower head.

I grabbed myself and got to work. I was so mad, I wanted to just get it over with and get downstairs to breakfast. I could practically hear John mumbling under his breath about what a jerk I was as he walked out the door, but I couldn't care less. He was always giving me so much shit about his death sentence, and how he could so easily give it to me. I knew it was the truth, but it didn't mean he had to bring it up every single time I wanted to be close to him.

I was beginning to think he didn't really want me, anyway.

My grip kept tightening around myself because I was so angry. It hurt to do that, but I was too pissed off to care. I tried to rub myself faster, hoping to climax in record time.

I swore I heard the bathroom door open quietly, but I was facing the stone wall of the shower and I didn't bother to turn around. I let out a groan as I tried to work myself even faster, determined to reach the end before anyone could interrupt me.

The shower door opened and I froze. I slowly looked over my shoulder, anticipating the humiliation of seeing my mom standing there with arms folded, ready to scold me for playing with myself in the family bathroom.

"Shit," I breathed a frustrated sigh when I realized it was just John.

"Sorry, I should have said I was coming in," he turned red and looked away.

He quietly stepped into the shower and closed the door. I scoffed and told him, "I'm going to finish myself off whether you're standing there or not."

"'Kay," he shrugged, stepping under the shower head.

"Don't do that!" I yelled.

He chuckled and asked, "Do what?"

"You're acting all cool about it to make me feel bad, you dick!" I argued.

"I wasn't doing anything! What, do you want me to tell you to quit it?!" John countered.

I was so pissed, I glared at him and seethed, "You just don't get it, do you?! I'm doing everything I can to be near you, and if you can't handle that, I'll yank it out myself while I'm thinking about you, and there's nothing you can do about it, so suck it!"

I meant the last line to be a total insult, but, as soon as I turned my back on him, John came up behind me and spun me around by my hips. I was so surprised, I didn't think to resist him. He dropped to his knees and let me slide right into his mouth, then he started sucking me off as if I had requested it.

"Jesus Christ!" I yelled, surprised by his intensity.

John used his mouth to work me so hard and fast, I was overwhelmed in seconds, and it took less than a minute to cum.

"Fuck!" I called out, as release hit me harder than I anticipated.

I leaned forward and squirted into John's mouth. He groaned as he swallowed, and I wished I was hard again so I could fuck him right then and there. He released me and his ocean blue eyes met mine as he asked, "How was that for sucking it?"

"I was trying to be offensive," I grumbled, lying back against the stone wall of the shower to catch my breath.

"So was I," John grinned, standing up so he could kiss me.

When he pulled away, I mentioned, "I hate the way you tease me."

He frowned and replied softly, "I don't mean to be a tease, I'm just trying to be cautious."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you're too cautious," I retorted.

"I know," John admitted.

* * *

After John left, things got pretty boring. I worked out for a while, talked to my dad before he went to work, did some homework...

_Shit. I'm so f'ing bored._

I thought about calling John, then I considered just going over there. All I really wanted was to be with him. I hadn't realized how dull my life was without him in it.

My cell phone rang and it startled me out of my thoughts. I picked it up and read that it was coming from Miz. I answered it despite not wanting to talk to him and stated, "What?!"

"Come over and talk to me, Dick-face," Miz said darkly.

I heard the click that he hung up. I wasn't about to let him get away with calling me names. I had half a mind to go over there and smack him in the face with my dick to get back at him.

_Hell, I have nothing better to do._

* * *

As soon as I got to Mike's house, I was ready to do exactly what I pictured. He had been making gay jokes at me for days, taunting me and even taking stabs at John.

_And John is off limits._

I banged on the door when I arrived, then I remembered there were other people in the house and I was probably coming off as a total douche, so I calmed down just as the door opened and Kelly anxiously peered around the frame. She had probably thought the banging meant a freak was at her door...or Mark Henry.

"Sorry, Kels," I grinned sheepishly for being so rude.

She perked up when she realized it was me and asked brightly, "Hi, Randy! How are you?!"

I shrugged and replied, "It's been an off day."

Kelly snickered and leaned into me to whisper, "You look like you got lucky."

I blinked with surprise and she laughed out loud. I shook my head and replied, "Well, it wasn't as fortunate as I would've liked."

She mocked disappointment and told me, "Oh, that's too bad. You know, if you ever need a boost, I'm here."

Kelly bit her lower lip and sweetly fluttered her eyes at me. I returned her flirtation with a slight nod as I replied, "I'll keep that in mind."

I had no intention of calling her up on her offer, but she didn't need to know that. Kelly giggled and asked me more seriously, "Are you here for Michael?"

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, making her laugh, again.

She welcomed me inside and led me upstairs to Mike's room. Kelly mentioned quietly before I went in, "I should warn you, he's in one of his moods."

"Yeah, I figured," I said.

Kelly shot me one last sweet smile before taking off down the hallway to her room. She didn't mention the blue strap-on, and I wondered if she even remembered letting me take it. She was drunk out of her mind at the time and all.

When I entered, I found Miz crouched next to the sliding glass door on the far side of his room that led out to the backyard. He had the door open just enough to air out the room, and his hands were busily working to roll up a joint he had pulled out of a stash box beside him.

"Ah, fuck, Miz! What the hell?!" I argued.

"What? I can't enjoy the luxury of a little pot from the comfort of my own home, Randal?" he mocked me.

I folded my arms and stated, "You know full well you could get kicked off the team if anyone finds out about this."

He scoffed and asked passively, "What? Are you going to tell on me?"

I was so ready to walk out. I grabbed the handle to the door and started to turn it, but Miz made me turn back when he said, "I figured out why you like Cena so much."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" I was curious to hear what he thought he knew about John.

Miz lit the end of his joint and took an annoyingly long puff just to make me wait. I let out a loud sigh and he remarked with a smile, "He's dying, isn't he?"

I was rendered speechless. I just stared at him as Miz went on, "I figure that's why he has to go to the doctor, but he doesn't say why. You're also a little obsessive with him...you're spending time with him like there's no tomorrow."

"...do you know why he's dying?" I braced myself.

Mike took another puff of his joint and replied, "I don't know the specifics, but I figure it's like, cancer or some shit."

I let him believe that it was, lowering my head as I acted like he had finally uncovered the truth. Miz laughed wickedly and went on, "You know what this means, right?"

"What?" I legitimately had no idea.

Miz shook his head at me like I was such an idiot and remarked, "Now I'm gonna have to hold this over John's head."

"What? Why the fuck would you do that?" I asked angrily.

He scoffed and replied shortly, "Because I like making him suffer. His stupid-ass baby face gets all mopey and shit when I taunt him for the fucking sad story he is."

Something came over me and I lunged for Mike before he had time to react. I shoved him down on his stomach and pinned him against the floor with all my strength. He tried to struggle, but he was so high, he has no match for me. I breathed against the back of his neck, "You are not going to do or say a damn thing to John Cena, do you hear me?!"

"Randy! God, let up!" Miz fought to get out from under me.

I straddled him and pressed my right knee up against his tailbone. He groaned in pain and I warned him, "You will leave John the fuck alone, or I will fuck you so hard, I'll break your ribs."

It was the worst thing I could think to say to him to shut him up. Miz stopped struggling and replied in a way I never expected, "Do it, Randy. Fuck me. Fuck me right now."

I was completely taken aback. I thought he was just trying to throw me off, but he sounded totally serious.

"Please, Randy? Do it, please!" he pleaded desperately.

I happened to glance over at his bed. I was at an angle where I could see directly underneath it, and there was a brown wooden box with a number of odd looking things in it, one of which was a long white dildo.

"Are you...bi?" I asked thickly.

I honestly had no idea, and I had known Miz as long as I could remember. He struggled to nod and I realized I still had him pinned down. I let up on him and started to get up to leave, but he begged me, "Please, Randy! Fuck me and I promise I'll leave John alone!"

I turned back to face him and asked, "You really promise? No more fucking around with John?"

"I promise, I swear!" he put his hands up in defeat.

"Fuck," I whispered, trying to decide what I should do.

Miz got up and rushed onto his bed. He started ripping off his own clothes as he tried desperately to get me to stay, "Look, you don't have to do anything but fuck me! You won't have to kiss me or anything! I'll lye down and look away!"

He threw his clothes on the floor and lay down on his stomach, turning his head to face away from me. Normally, I would've just fucked him and gotten it over with, but all I could think about was John, and I was tired of playing sex games with everyone but the one guy I really wanted to be with.

"I don't want to fuck you, Mike," I said thickly.

I could hardly stand to hear the sound of my own voice. Miz sat up on his elbows so he could face me as he asked, "Why the hell not? I thought you would be cool with this!"

I shook my head. Miz narrowed his eyes and told me, "If you don't fuck me right now, I'm going to make John's life a living hell."

"You stay the fuck away from him, or I'll-" I started.

"You'll what? What can you do, Randy? He's going to die whether you like it or not! You might as well fuck me and spare John having to live his last days being ridiculed out of his new school! I'll even go after that bitch, Alicia that hangs out with him! You've probably already had some, but I'd like to know what her pussy tastes like!" Mike taunted me.

I wanted him to shut up. I went over to the bed and pinned him down, again. He groaned with a mix of pleasure and pain and waited for me to push my way in, but I couldn't bring myself to fuck him, no matter how much I wanted to save John and Alicia from the kind of pain I knew Miz could bring them with rumors and gossip.

I remembered the dildo just under the bed and reached down for it. I pulled the whole box out and found some lube and a few bondage toys. I grabbed the gag and used it to keep Miz quiet, then I squirted the lube on the dildo and turned it on.

For the first time since I had started exploring my sexuality, I felt no sense of pleasure as I slowly pushed the dildo into Miz. He shuddered and let out stifled moans through his gag as he enjoyed every moment of what I was doing to him, but I just felt sick and dirty.

I resented that he was making me do this. The only benefit from it was that I had to use a certain rhythm with the dildo that I knew would come in handy when I used the strap-on with John. I turned the dildo on higher and closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to watch Miz get off.

Despite not wanting to be a part of this, I couldn't stop my teenage hormones from raging, and I could feel myself getting hard simply from listening to Mike's stimulated responses. I tried to think of something else; anything to make my erection go down, but it wasn't working.

Miz grunted loudly and I opened my eyes. I realized I had lost my rhythm and I was kind of hurting him.

"Sorry," I muttered, trying to get the rhythm back, again.

As soon as Miz sounded comfortable once more, I closed my eyes and waited for him to finish. It took less than two minutes for him to release, but it felt like hours. I slowly pulled the dildo out and tried to repress my sense of shame as I got up to leave. Miz pulled his gag off and said just as I was about to open the door, "Eve was right, you are really good at sex up the ass."

"Uh...thanks," I mumbled, hoping he would just shut the fuck up so I could leave.

"You didn't do it the way I asked for, though," Miz pointed out.

"I told you, I don't want to fuck you," I stated.

He just stared at me, so I walked out.

I didn't dare try to breathe until I was at least a block away from his house. All I could think of was the look of shame on John's face when I told him what happened. I was just sure he was going to hate me, this time.

_Fuck me for getting into these fucking messes. Fuck me._


	9. The Second Cumming

9: The Second Cumming

I drove straight to John's house. I had no idea what I was going to tell him, or how I could explain myself out of this one. I felt guilty as shit as I knocked on the door of his apartment and waited for Mr. Rhodes to answer.

It was dark out by that point, and he had a slight frown on his face when he opened the door, like he was expecting someone less appealing. He smiled the moment he realized it was me, and asked softly, "You here for John?"

"Yes, sir," I nodded.

"He's right back in his room. Be sure to knock and tell him it's you; he likes it quiet when he's doing his homework," Mr. Rhodes told me.

Being a teenager with raging hormones, I knew that there was no way John wanted privacy just to do homework. I chuckled to myself as I walked down the hallway, thinking I'd probably startle him in the middle of masturbating or watching porn. Or both.

"John? It's me," I said, just after I made a quick knock.

I didn't hear him shuffling around like he was trying to hide anything. He didn't even sound flustered as he responded, "Come on in."

I was kind of disappointed that I hadn't interrupted something good as I opened the door and saw John lying peacefully on his bed like he had been that way the whole time. I could hear some screaming and loud noises coming from his TV on the stack of books at the edge of the bed, though, which probably meant he was watching an R-rated movie.

"Lock the door, please," John said, and I flipped the bolt into place.

He didn't seem to notice that I was guilty of something, yet. He just pointed at the TV and added with a big grin, "Mr. Rhodes hates scary movies, so he won't let me watch them, but I love these things. I try to watch them if I can, when he's not paying attention."

There was some room for me to lye down next to him, but I felt too guilty to do that, so I took his chair from the corner and set it beside the bed. John gave me a curious look and asked, "What's the matter? What's wrong?"

I suddenly felt like I was in the wrong place. I was ready to make a run for the door as I mumbled, "I don't know why I came here."

John asked with concern, "What's going on, Randy? Did something happen?"

I collapsed into the chair and put my head in my hands. I'm the type of guy who thinks crying is for chicks, children and funerals, but I just lost it for no real reason and I was practically balling like a baby.

John let me go on for a few minutes in silence. My sob-session was somewhat hindered by the screams and slasher sounds coming from the TV, but that didn't seem to stop me. I was starting to calm down when John finally asked me, "Did you want to tell me something?"

It was like he knew I was guilty as sin, yet he couldn't seem to bring himself to judge the shit outta me like anyone else would. The guy was remarkably saintly in attitude, even with the kind of perception that could spot the worst in people at any given time.

"I went to see Mike today. He's been giving me shit for a while about you, and he knows I like you. He was high off his ass when I got to his house, something I didn't think he was into, and he told me he knew you were dying," I confessed.

John swallowed hard as I continued, "He doesn't know what you have, but he knows it hurts you, and especially me, when he makes fun of you. He was going to try and spread rumors and make your life miserable, and then he said he'd target Alicia."

I saw John's jaw clench out of the corner of my eye as I looked away and went on, "I've known him since forever. I know the damage he can do. He wasn't messing around, so I held him down and said I'd fuck him in half or something stupid just to get him to stop. I honestly had no idea he was into that."

I glanced back at John. His eyes widened a little like he was just as surprised as I was. I had to close my eyes so I couldn't see his baby blues as I finished my confession, "He said he'd stop if I fucked him. Requests like that don't usually bother me, but I couldn't do it this time. I just wanted to be with you, and I was so fucking pissed at him, and I...there was a box under his bed with a dildo in it. I just pulled it out and used it on him so he wouldn't go after you and Alicia. I was so fucking angry, so fucking pissed off that he made me do that..."

I opened my eyes and just started ranting, "I wasn't turned on at all toward that mother fucker. I even gagged him just to shut him up, but I think he liked that, too. Stupid fucking psycho bitch made all kinds of noise and I was getting all hot when I didn't want to, and I just ran out as soon as he came, because it was all so fucking sick and I got some of his shit on my hands and I washed it off in this rain barrel outside, but I swear I could still smell it and I fucking hate that fucking shithead for making me do such a fucking stupid thing when he knows all the fuck I want is to fuck you and he thinks he can ruin it for me? Well, he's got another fucking thing coming, that fucking-ass cock sucking asshole!"

John just stared at me until I finished. I had gotten myself so excited, I didn't know whether to jerk off or drive back to Mike's house and kick his ass. I was surprised when John asked quietly, "Do you still wanna fuck me?"

I locked eyes with him and stated what I'd been trying to get him to understand all along, "Hell, yes."

He didn't say anything. It took me a few seconds to realize what he was asking, and once I did, I launched myself into bed with him and mashed my lips against his.

God, he tasted like hot peppers. His body was warm and solid and I wanted to just get it in and pound him until we both passed out. He seemed as turned on as I was, clawing at my clothes and trying to get them off in record time. We managed to strip each other naked while tossing the blankets and pillows around the room, and I accidentally kicked the TV right off of the stack of books it was on. It hit the floor on its side, and the screams and slasher noises were muffled, but continued in the background.

"Condoms?" I asked quickly.

John pulled open the drawer of his bedside table and a huge pile of Magnums appeared, along with lube and handcuffs and some other strange pieces of crap that John had never told me he was into.

"What the fuck?" I grabbed the handcuffs and gave John a hard look for not mentioning them.

He shrugged and told me, "You didn't ask."

I would've given my left arm to use them on him, but my erection was throbbing painfully and I knew I was on borrowed time. John rolled over on his stomach, and I tried my best to get a condom and some lube on before I exploded.

I didn't dare look down at his ass to watch myself go in. I was already on overdrive. I leaned into his ear and whispered, "God, John, you've got me turned on so high, I don't know if I can get it in."

"Oh, please do," he begged.

I wasn't sure I could hold it, so I stared intently at his headboard as I started to push my way in. He relaxed to make it as easy for me as possible, but he tensed up a bit when I slid the rest of the way in. He made a short sound like he had felt some pain, and I told him thickly, "Sorry, I'm a little big, aren't I?"

He nodded but remarked wickedly, "The pain brings me pleasure."

I chuckled and started to grind. I preferred it over the typical bumping when it came to being in such a tight space, and I had heard guys say it was like a massage to the prostate. John responded with groans of deep pleasure, clutching his sheets like he might be getting more than he bargained for.

"This okay?" I asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah...yeah, I like it," John moaned.

His strong responses surprised me. After all this time of arguing and bargaining and being cautious, I was beginning to think he was born without a sex drive, but now, he was acting like a wet virgin discovering the extreme joys of what was always considered a taboo subject. It made me think that he was always just as zealous as I was, but had tried so hard to deny it, he had even fooled himself.

"Stop, please? Stop for a minute," John said suddenly.

I immediately froze. Once I stopped, I realized John was breathing heavily and he looked much more tired than I through he would be. I asked with concern, "You all right?"

He nodded as he tried to catch his breath. It only took him about a minute to calm down, then he grabbed a condom out of the drawer and opened it with his teeth. I didn't know what he was doing until he slipped it on himself and said, "I don't want to explain why I have to wash my sheets."

I laughed out loud. John smiled and asked over his shoulder, "Did I mess you up?"

"No. In fact, I don't need much more to shoot," I answered.

John chuckled and added, "Me, too."

I reached underneath him and took his front in my hand. I started massaging his erection while I resumed grinding into his backside, and we both released at about the same time.

"I want to do that again, okay?" I told him as soon as I pulled out.

John was more jubilant than ever as he replied, "Stay the night, then. We'll do it a few more times."

"Are you sure you can handle that? I mean, I don't want to overdo it on our first run-" I started.

John grunted in protest and argued, "And here you were the one who kept saying I was being a tease."

He rolled over on his side to face me, and I told him how I felt at that moment, "I love you, you know."

His sense of joy slowly faded, and he shook his head as he told me, "Don't."

"Don't what?" I felt like he was getting defensive, again.

He stated darkly, "I don't want you to say you love me. It'll only hurt you more when you lose me."

I countered with a frustrated sigh, "You can't tell me what to say, John. If I feel like saying I love you, then I'll say it, and if it hurts more to lose you, then it's worth the risk."

He blinked with surprise, like he hadn't thought of that. He asked more as a theory than a threat, "What if I shut you out and stayed away from you for saying it? Would you still love me, then?"

"Pushing me away won't change how I feel. I don't even know why people try to do that, because it doesn't ever work. Romeo and Juliet killed themselves because their families wanted to separate them and stop their love, right? So that just goes to show, it never works out," I argued.

John started laughing and I gave him a sideways look. He finally stopped long enough to explain, "Romeo and Juliet wasn't a true story."

"Yeah, well, it's a classic for a reason. There's a lesson in that Shakes-pory-ann shit," I knew I pronounced his name wrong even as I said it.

John laughed so hard, he was clutching his sides and tears were streaming down his cheeks. I gave his ass a quick slap to get him to stop and told him, "I'm serious about what I said to you."

He nodded his head and replied softly, "I know. I want to say it back, but I just can't."

"When I use those handcuffs on you, you will," I gave him a wicked half-smile.


	10. They All Fall Down

10: They All Fall Down

I wanted to do it again and again. I wanted to fuck all night with John Cena. I wanted to be with him as long as time would permit me, and then I would find him again when he least expected it.

John said we were going to do it a few more times, but I could tell he was tired and we both ended up falling asleep in each other's arms. When I woke up the next morning, my nose was in his hair and he smelled of sweat and musk.

He must've known I was awake because me moved his head to look up at me. His eyes were so blue I could hardly stand to look at them as I whispered, "Hey, Baby."

I never understood why couples insisted on using ridiculously cute names to call on each other until now. All I wanted to do was refer to John as Baby from this point on. My Baby.

He narrowed his eyes just slightly like the word annoyed him. He started to get up as he said straight-faced, "We have to get ready for school."

"I know that," I chuckled, thinking he was just making a dry joke.

He said nothing and searched the floor for his clothes. He found mine and tossed them to me like he wanted me to hurry up and get dressed. I sat up in bed and asked thickly, "Don't you wanna fuck one more time?"

John shook his head and remarked like I should've known better, "My foster parents are up. They'll hear us."

My blood started to boil as I stated in a low tone, "You weren't so worried about them possibly hearing us last night."

John stood up straight and told me flat-out, "Last night was a mistake. Plain and simple. I messed up and I let you in, but it won't happen again."

I couldn't believe it. It was like I was staring at a complete stranger. I shot back angrily, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I'm your fucking whore for one night and then I'm kicked to the curb, same as any other exploit?!"

John just stared at me. I stood up to face him and screamed, "I don't really understand what your problem is! You blow me off and then you like me, only to blow me off, again! What the fuck?!"

He told me as strongly as if it were the first time, "I'm HIV-Positive. One drop of blood. One drop is all it would take for me to end the rest of your life."

"I think I should have the right to decide whether I want to take that chance or not, you fucking hypocrite!" I argued.

He continued to stand his ground. Stubborn as he was, I could see in his eyes that John was not going to back down from this, no matter how hard I tried to fight him.

I put my clothes on in furious silence while John just stood there and watched me. I thought about telling him off; calling him a bunch of names. I even imagined throwing him back down on the bed and having my way with him whether he wanted me back or not. My head was nothing but noise until the most clear thought came through just as I was about to leave.

Before walking out, I turned back to face John and told him, "I meant what I said last night."

He didn't respond, so I said it one more time, "I love you, John Cena."

I slammed the door and started down the hallway. I didn't look back, but I swore I heard John tell me through the door, "You don't know what love is."

* * *

I was so angry with John, I couldn't think straight. Blinded by rage and running high on adrenaline, I drove straight to school with only one plan in mind: I wanted to hurt John Cena the way he hurt me.

There were a few ideas in mind, but the only thing that really stuck out to me was sex. If he was going to cut me off, I'd find someone I could take my frustrations out on and I'd tell John the whole story to make him jealous. I wanted to make him want me, and if that meant using someone else in the process, I was game.

I considered Alicia. She was the closest to him and fucking a girl on top of fucking his best friend would be double the punishment with possibly twice the reward. Not only would John want me back on the same-sex side, but I might be able to convince Alicia to talk to him when I couldn't.

The idea was cruel and vindictive, and I knew it. I sat in my truck in the parking lot just waiting. Waiting and hoping that she would show up.

School had already started, but I hadn't see Alicia leave when I took off out of John's apartment, so I assumed she was going to arrive late. It made for an even better idea because we could skip school together and I could spend the day with her without anyone ever noticing. Then I considered the idea that she would probably show up with John, and my entire plan was ruined.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath.

I closed my eyes for a minute to think of another plan. The only thing that kept popping into my mind were John's blue eyes staring coldly back at me. No matter how much I wanted to swear him off forever, I couldn't get enough of the memory of last night.

_God, I wanted him back._

I felt like I was losing my mind. I wasn't even myself, anymore. John Cena had successfully consumed me, and all I could think about was how to get back into his ass, again.

"Fuck," I whispered again, opening my eyes once more.

I was startled by movement. It took a couple of seconds for my eyes to adjust and I realized it was Mike coming my way. He had his hands in his pockets and he pulled out his car keys as he reached the parking lot. He was almost to his car when he glanced up and saw me. Our eyes locked. For a long moment, we just stared at each other.

"Come here," I signaled for him to walk over to the passenger's side of my truck.

He obeyed, and I felt another jolt of adrenaline as he got closer. He put his arms inside the frame of the door where the window was rolled down and asked me with a smirk, "Skipping school, Rebel Orton?"

"Get the fuck in here! We're going out to fuck!" I put it bluntly.

Miz blinked with surprise and stood there like he was momentarily stunned. I opened my mouth to order him into the truck, but he caught on before I had to repeat myself and he rushed to get in.

"Let's go!" he shouted, and I reversed in a blaze of tire streaks before slamming on the gas to get the hell outta Dodge.

* * *

Immediately after it was over, I felt regret. Nothing but regret.

I was rough with Mike. Really rough. I even held him by the back of his neck for an uncomfortably long period of time and I didn't let up, even when he cried out a little. I was enjoying using all my strength to thrust into him like a hammer taking down a nail. I wanted him to suffer, because I thought it would make me feel better. After it all, I was the one who truly felt suffering. Miz just laughed like he'd just had the fuck of a lifetime.

"What is wrong with you?!" I grumbled under my breath.

He ignored me and said with a sigh, "That was some crazy, fucked-up sex!"

I hated him at that moment. I truly did.

"I want you to do something for me," I started.

Mike replied easily, "After what you did for me just now?! You name it!"

I felt completely detached as I stated, "John is gay and I fucked him. I want you to spread that rumor all over school, and tell everyone that he's my bitch."

I thought Miz would be overjoyed to hear that he was finally being given permission to ruin John's social life, but he only reacted with stark silence. I locked eyes with him and asked, "Is there a problem with that?"

"No, it's just," Miz swallowed before continuing, "Everyone knows about John being in the hospital. Rumor around school is that he has some form of cancer and he's trying to hide it from the rest of us. If I spread the rumor about him being gay and your bitch, guys are gonna beat my ass for making up shit about Cancer Boy."

I couldn't fucking believe it. I had no idea rumor around school was that he was in cancer treatment. I suddenly realized how messed up my plan had become, and all I wanted to do was get back to John and tell him what a fucking idiot I was.

"I don't deserve him," I whispered to myself.

"What?" Miz asked.

I just shook my head and replied, "Nothing."

* * *

Miz and I got something to eat and passed the time until school was out. I dropped Mike off at his house and he asked as he got out, "We're doing this again, right?"

"Fuck you," I told him.

"I'll take that as a yes!" he yelled as I sped away.

My entire focus went to finding John. As I drove to his apartment, I kept trying to come up with a good explanation for what just happened with Mike. I had already confessed my sins to John more than once, and now I found myself trying to get him to redeem me once more for the complete asshole that I was.

I knew I fucked up, and I wasn't going to lie about it. I wanted John to know that my time with Miz meant nothing and the whole reason I did it was to get back at him. The whole situation seemed so wrong that there were moments along the drive where I felt like turning back because I was sure John would spit in my face and slam the door.

I was a horn-dog. Maybe a sex addict. Yeah, that's what I'd tell him. I was a sex addict.

"No, that's stupid," I shook my head, knowing full well John would never let me slide by with a confession like that.

Everything I came up with just made me feel shittier. I decided that I was going to have to keep telling him I loved him until he was convinced it were true. In my mind, it was true.

"It is true," I told myself as I rounded the corner to his apartment complex.

I saw half a dozen L.A.P.D.s parked out front, and my heart stopped.

The cops were blocking the road. There were bystanders behind yellow tape, just like in the movies. Some were shouting like they were angry, while others were trying to stand on their tip-toes to get a better look at the unfolding drama. I stopped my truck and got out, and my eyes searched for John's.

The group behind the yellow tape were mostly African Americans. Sable and Dustin were standing in the back with their baby girl and little boys, and it felt like forever before I finally caught sight of them. I noticed right away that John and Alicia weren't with them, and a sense of knowing came over me that I tried very hard to ignore.

I glanced past the police cars. There was an ambulance. And a coroner.

Someone was dead. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I just stood there, frozen in place, waiting for someone to come up to me and tell me exactly what was going on. I even wondered if the cops would yell at me to move back or stay with the people behind the yellow tape, but they didn't even notice me. Nobody noticed me.

I heard a wailing from somewhere in the apartment complex. It didn't even sound human until I saw Alicia coming out from behind the door to her apartment and I realized the wailing was coming from her.

_I had never seen a face so torn._

She was screaming. Screaming and crying and lashing her arms out as the officers came out of the same apartment and walked slowly past her. They were carrying something in a long red bag with symbols on it, like those bio hazard bags in hospitals where the dangerous stuff like used needles gets thrown into to prevent contamination. I think the color of the bag was the reason why I didn't initially realize what it was.

A body bag.

I could still see Alicia screaming and wailing, but her voice was no longer reaching my ears. I couldn't hear anything. I looked down at the bottom of the bag and I could see pools of blood building up like rainwater in a plastic cover. The officers walked to the coroner's van and one of them let go of the bag to open the back doors. The others tilted the bag just slightly, and all I saw were two sky blue eyes staring straight at me.

John was dead, but my mind wouldn't let me believe it.

_The eyes were fake. They had to be. The body was fake. It had to be. It was a model of John; a hoax of some kind. The cops were all fake and he was just getting me back for walking out on him this morning._

Somebody slammed into me. I struggled to keep from falling backward as I held them against me. I just knew it was John as I looked down and waited for his beautiful eyes to look up at me. I wanted nothing more than to see him laughing as he told me this was all a big joke.

_Only brown eyes looked back at me. It was Alicia in my arms. Not John. _

She was trying to tell me through furious sobs, "The gang that killed my boys! They came back for my Johnny! They found him, somehow! They broke in da house and took him out! They took him out!"

Alicia screamed like her mind was literally splitting in two. I held onto her the best I could, but I could feel myself wanting to break apart right along with her.

There were so many things I could've been thinking about in that moment, but the only thought that came to mind was probably the worst possible one:_ I wish I had been infected like he was. Then he would've never pushed me away and I would've been there with him. We could've died together, one way or another._

It was a ridiculous thought, yet it wouldn't leave my mind.

* * *

Epilogue

FOUR YEARS LATER

ORLANDO, FLORIDA

After John died, nothing else mattered to me. Except Alicia.

She came to live with me after the shooting. The police thought the gang members might come back for Alicia, but they never thought to look for her in upper-class L.A. We graduated high school, and I was given a trust fund from my parents. I used it to move Alicia and I to Orlando, where we bought a decent place and she started working for a bridal shop.

Our relationship was like friends with benefits. I figured she'd find someone else one day and move on from me, but it seemed like we were meant for each other. We talked about marriage, but we never followed through.

She told me stories about John over the years. About who he was when he was younger. About his relationship with Jeff. About the moments leading up to his death. Alicia told me that she heard what I said to John, and she thought John really loved me back, even if he never could say it. To this day, I still can't bring myself to believe I ever deserved him.

One day in September, Alicia and I were on the couch watching TV when we heard a knock at the door. Alicia went to answer it, and I waited until I heard her squeal with joy for the first time in a long time.

"Roman! How you doin', Baby?!" Alicia shouted.

I sat up a little straighter and glanced back over my shoulder. I was pleasantly surprised to see a bulky man about my age with a Samoan complexion and a dashing smile walk in to greet Alicia. He scooped her up in his arms and spun her around like they had known each other a long time. I stood up from the couch and wandered over to meet this man that Alicia responded to as if he were one of our own.

"This is Roman Reigns. Roman, this is Randy Orton," she introduced us.

Roman put his hand out and I shook it. His grip was strong. The intuition that he was very gay was even stronger.

"Rome was one of John's friends back in the day," Alicia informed me.

I felt my body grow tense with a mix of surprise and concern. I just had to ask, "How'd you escape the gangs?"

He answered as if he knew I was going to ask, "Got out of L.A., man. Moved to Lauderdale as soon as I could. I only just heard from Alicia that yous were here and I had to swing by!"

He sounded like he was trying to fit in with the surfer-style way of life. I would've considered that a complete turn-off if it weren't for the fact that he was so damn good looking.

"You wanna go out? Grab something to eat?" Roman asked.

"I'm drivin'!" Alicia stated right away.

She walked out and Roman looked back at me for a moment longer. I asked with a slight smile, "So, you knew John?"

Roman told me with a nod, "He was a good friend. I worried about him when he got sick. I wanted to be there for him, but I had no idea where he was after he transferred."

"Were you uh...more than friends?" I asked curiously.

I was a little surprised when Roman shook his head, telling me, "Not like that. He was loyal to Jeff."

He gave me a sideways glance and asked, "What about you and John? More than friends?"

I answered honestly, "Yeah."

Roman nodded and replied, "I'd ask if you're infected but I get the feeling that would be a really shit thing to say on the first date."

"Date?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Alicia set it up," he shrugged, walking out the door before I could argue.

* * *

Author's Note: Not one of my longer-running deals, yet this was always the way I pictured this story would go and this was always the ending I had in mind. I've been working on this last part for over a year and it has met all my expectations for this story that I've edited and re-posted half a dozen times (Apologies, dedicated readers! Creativity must sometimes suffer to be made self-realized)! Obviously, Roman was a current piece of input since he wasn't around when I initially started the story. I have a now-not-so-secret-super crush on him and I just saw him in person last month, so I had to insert him somewhere before my brain exploded from the many sexual innuendos I could come up with using the play-on-words: Reigns Supreme.

If you liked this story, please skip on over to the similar Centon finished work: Behind Blue Eyes (I should note that not all my Centon stories have tragic endings, if that's not your style). If you pretty much hated this story and wish to swear me off forever, I beg you to give me another chance and check out my other angsty-high-school Centon story with many more bouts of laughter and fun-loving: New Kid on the Jock (Over 30,000 story hits and counting! And most of those hits aren't from me double checking and re-reading my own story)!


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